LAUGH LINES
Rebate Plans: “Some of President Bush’s top advisors have announced what they’re going to do with their tax rebate checks. Economic advisor Lawrence Lindsey plans to buy new bikes for his kids. Strategist Karl Rove will spend his check on school clothes and a gift for his dog. The president has also announced his rebate plans: his $300 is going straight to the bail fund for his daughter Jenna.” (Ira Lawson)
Featured Attractions: “Former Vice President Dan Quayle delivered over 400 boxes of personal papers to the Dan Quayle museum in Huntington, Ind., recently. Some popular exhibits at the Dan Quayle museum include the exit, the emergency exit--and any open window.” (Craig Kilborn)
The Cold Treatment: “In Tokyo, a man who has been dead for 13 years was found in his son’s freezer. The son kept his father in the freezer, hoping to bring him back someday. You know what the son called him? Popsicle.” (Jay Leno)
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