Former Life’s Credentials Won’t Get You This Job

When a human squid opening appeared in the Santa Barbara News-Press (see accompanying), one man claimed to have a tentacle up on other applicants.

“He said he was a reincarnation of a squid,” reported a staffer with the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History. “We didn’t go with him.”

As for myself, by the time I phoned, the deadline had passed.

But I appreciate Frances Keane of Hollywood alerting me to the talent search.

The job of Sid the Squid was given to a college student who was not lacking in credentials, having portrayed a camel in an “Aladdin” show at Disneyland.

Don’t take their name, too! Inglewood, which lost both the Lakers and Kings to Staples Center, may have a greater identity crisis with the publishing of Danielle Steele’s “The Wedding.”

Sue Hallman of Santa Maria found a passage in Chapter 15 referring to a character attending “the Great Western Forum in Ingleside, near L.A.”

Back to the Lakers: “Rush Hour 2,” which follows the antics of a cop duo, one Chinese (Jackie Chan) and one African American (Chris Tucker), makes some jokes about racial stereotypes.

In Hong Kong, Tucker complains to Chan that all Chinese look alike to him.

A bit later, as Tucker is ascending a narrow staircase, he nearly collides with a middle-aged woman. She growls something in Chinese, which is translated as, “Move aside, Kobe.”

We’re No. 1: At another point in “Rush Hour 2,” Tucker is warned about taking on a Chinese gang. His reply: “I’m from Los Angeles. We invented gangs.”

On the road: In Key West, Fla., Pati Rodrigues of Santa Ana spotted a not-so-hospitable sign in the window of a building (see photo).

Monkeying around: The release of the new version of “Planet of the Apes” reminded Michael Hesse of one of his favorite theater marquees of years ago. It announced:

THE PLANET OF THE APES

BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES

Now that’s understated humor.

Further proof you are your car in Southern California: Mike Spencer noticed a medical building in Mission Viejo with a sign that said, “Patient Parking Only. Saddleback Students Will Be Towed Away.”

“Apparently,” Spencer observed, “their cars can stay.”

miscelLAny: As for the recent photo here of the motorcyclist’s jacket with a “Devils Diciples” logo, a club spokesman named Rotten Ron e-mailed me that “diciples” is spelled that way for a reason.

“It’s not like a bunch of drunken bikers got together 35 years ago and had a spelling bee to see which variation of ‘disciples’ they liked best,” he said.

Rotten Ron didn’t divulge the reason for the alternate spelling. I didn’t press the issue.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.