Are Movie Audiences Getting Wise to Hollywood Hype?

Remember those old American Express commercials about the perils of carrying cash overseas? “You are about to witness a robbery,” Karl Malden’s stentorian voice would proclaim at the start of one such ad depicting happy (and presumably American) vacationers just before some elaborate pas de deux of purse snatching would ensue beyond the tourists’ bucolic, unsuspecting gaze.

I don’t know about you, but I feel as though my pocket is picked whenever I see most Hollywood-produced products, especially during the summer.

The scheme would be too elaborate to compress in a 60-second TV message, but here’s one version of how it works:

1. Bad Movie is given a sexy, omnipresent marketing campaign.

2. The hype is so widespread as to make Bad Movie seem unavoidable before it’s even prescreened.

3. Audiences, lured by the hype, show up for Bad Movie en masse.

4. Audiences leave theaters outraged at giving up two to three hours of their lives for Bad Movie, but ...

5. People who made Bad Movie got their money anyway, have no intention of giving it back and so ...

6. Bad Movie is regarded as a multimillion-dollar success after one weekend.

The scam isn’t new for the movies. And as anyone familiar with the wit and wisdom of P.T. Barnum can tell you, it’s not exclusive to the movies either.

This summer movie season, however, appears to be more top-loaded than most others with what one industry wag has called “one-weekend wonders.” These would be the big-studio films that arrived at the Great American Multiplex borne by great expectations, garnered huge opening-weekend box-office numbers only to take a deep, hard fall in their financial fortunes as soon as the second weekend figures were tallied.

The percentages of second-week declines for most Hollywood movies have been in the high two figures. For instance, Tim Burton’s buzz-infested “Planet of the Apes,” which came out July 27, had an opening-weekend take of more than $68 million, far outdistancing its competition. By the next week, its ticket sales dropped by 60%.

Things had reached a point by then where the fate of “Apes” was more the rule than the exception. The second-week crash-and-burn for popcorn movies this summer had become as predictable as the sunrise from some May franchises. “The Mummy Returns” and “Pearl Harbor” both had 50% drop-offs in their second week; “Rush Hour 2” sustained a 53% drop-off its second weekend after a $100-million take in its first three days.

It’s been 10 weeks since a No. 1 movie repeated at the top of the standings. Yet, despite the steep headers these movies have taken, they’re not, in strictly economic terms, flops. Both “Apes” and “Rush 2” have crossed the golden $100-million barrier to blockbuster status, as have such sundry items as “Pearl Harbor” (more than $195 million) “The Fast and the Furious” (more than $138 million), “Jurassic Park III” (more than $148 million) and summer 2001’s undisputed, unqualified champ, “Shrek” ($257 million and counting).

But what about those of us who don’t know--or count--beans for the movie industry? Do any of the aforementioned movies quicken the pulse, make you glad you’re living in a year when such miracles are possible?

Put another way, outside of “Shrek” (which succeeds, in large part, by respecting, more than insulting, one’s intelligence), how many of these movies would you snatch off the video shelves just for the ecstatic charge of seeing them again? There are a few good reasons the crowds were smaller for most of those movies, and at least 10 of them are spelled “bad word of mouth.”

The studio spin doctors have other explanations, and, as usual, they put the blame on everyone except the studios. The massive glut of multiplex screens has been one culprit. More screens are available for the same film--which means it’s easier for the film to ring up millions more in its first week.

Still another--and far more egregious--charge is lodged against the audiences for their dwindling attention spans.

Studio executives have been reported saying “the instant gratification society in which we live” was to blame. My own translation: Hey, we’re only giving them what they want! It’s their fault that we’re making mediocre product that evaporates on contact.

As a member of the audience, I take exception to this. And you should, too, unless you like having your pockets picked and your evenings ruined every week. I suspect--no, I know--that these weekly drop-offs constitute one early signal to the studios that we’re all tired of being played for suckers and marks.