Invention Could Mean New Rules of the Road

Proponents of the recently unveiled Segway Human Transporter, also known as Ginger, or It, believe the high-tech electric scooter is going to dramatically alter the way we live by moving us more quickly and efficiently between short distances. But will this technological breakthrough create a new set of problems? We have questions, lots of questions.

For example:

Will there be Segway traffic laws?

Who will enforce them? Segway police?

If so, will they drive Crown Victoria Segways?

What about Segway speed traps?

Should going 10 mph in a 7 mph zone be a crime?

And where will we park our Segways?

Will there be Segway lots?

Will there be Segway meters?

Segway meter maids?

Segway tow zones?

How about fuel?

Will Segways run on regular (110 volt) or premium (220 volt)?

Will there be Segway stations where we can pull in for juice?

Would these stations also sell Yoo-hoo, Snowballs and quick-picks?

What about traffic flow?

Will sidewalks be one-way?

Will there be passing lanes?

Who will have the right of way, a Segway or a pedestrian?

Can you Segway with one hand?

If not, how will irate Segway operators exchange digits?

And are people going to develop Segway rage?

Can you drink and Segway?

Can you be charged with SWI (Segwaying While Intoxicated)?

Will you be allowed to Segway and use a cell phone?

Will Segways have cup holders for coffee?

Also:

Where will we get Segways?

Will there be Segway dealerships?

Will there be Segway salesmen?

Will they wear loud sports jackets?

Will they ask what it will take to put us on a Segway?

Will there be different Segway models?

And will any of these models have rich Corinthian leather?

Once we own a Segway, will we need our legs anymore?

For what?

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Jim Shea is a columnist for the Hartford Courant, a Tribune Co.