The TV Polygamist They Love to Hate

Forget about the war in Afghanistan and the bloodletting between Israelis and Palestinians. Nihad abu Qomsan and legions of Arab women are angry, fuming in fact, because of a middle-aged man named Hag Mitwalli.

Mitwalli really hits home for these women, dropping in every evening around 6. He is the lead character in a dramatic series that is the hottest--and most controversial--show in Egypt and parts of the Arab world. The show promotes polygamy, and Mitwalli is the happy-go-lucky polygamist.

“I wonder how they can make such a show,” said Abu Qomsan, an attorney and women’s advocate. “They make polygamy look very nice, very romantic, very rich like a dream. It is the worst show I have ever seen in my life. It is the worst show Egyptian television has ever made. They destroy all life values.”

But here’s the rub: She hasn’t missed an episode yet.

“I watch it to analyze it and to see what kind of influence it has,” Abu Qomsan said. “It makes me very angry, but I have to see it.”

This is the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, a time for fasting, praying and being with family. But because families gather at dusk to break their daytime fast and stay up through the night celebrating, it also is a time for television. It’s like every night is Thanksgiving; after a big holiday meal, the family flops down in front of the set. So television stations treat it like sweeps month, filling their lineups with popular movies and special shows.

Enter “A’elat al Hag Mitwalli,” or “Hag Mitwalli’s Family,” a 34-episode soap opera that is a cross between “The Bold and the Beautiful” and “Three’s Company.” Mitwalli, the balding, beak-nosed character played by accomplished Egyptian actor Nour el Sherif, was a low-wage employee in a fabric shop. The owner of the shop died and Mitwalli married the widow, Zoubeida. When Zoubeida became ill and died, Mitwalli--now a wealthy businessman--began his marrying juggernaut.

First he wed Amina because she was from a good family. Then Nehma because she had money. Then Madiha because she was a tax inspector. Now he is having a midlife crisis and is flirting with his soon-to-be fourth wife, a younger woman named Olfat. All of his wives are given identical apartments, and he spends nights with them based on a schedule.

This might be written off as mindless after-dinner television if not for a few poignant facts: The issue of multiple marriages is the focus of intense debate in the Islamic world. Those who promote it find justification in the Koran, the Muslim holy book, which says it is permissible to have up to four wives. But those opposed also point to the Koran, saying it approves of taking more than one wife only if a man can treat each equitably, a standard that the holy book notes is unlikely to be achieved.

Polygamy is also an issue seen as central to Muslim women’s struggle for rights and equal treatment under the law. Given that Egyptian television is controlled by the government, which routinely censors what viewers can see and hear, activists are asking what message the authorities are sending by producing such a show.

The series prompted some female members of the Egyptian parliament to demand an explanation from Information Minister Safwat Sharif, who has not replied. The Alliance of Arab Women condemned the series and is planning to hold a seminar to explore its impact on society. And the Egyptian Female Writers Society sent a telegram of protest to Sharif.

Rose el Youssef, a respected weekly Egyptian magazine, slammed the series, noting that it comes at a time when some religious leaders are promoting polygamy as a solution for unwed women.

“The series has not finished yet and we don’t know the fate of all this happiness going on that the wives are living in and whether it will turn into female war or whether peace and stability will continue,” an editorial in the magazine said this week. “But the idea itself is dangerous and opens a thousand doors to the destruction of families and homelessness of children.”

Despite the hue and cry, there is still the matter of ratings. Everyone, it seems, is watching. Even Huda Badran, the head of the Arab women’s alliance, admits that she is drawn to the show.

“If you put aside the filthy messages that it puts through, it is a beautiful story,” she said. “People can sit in front of the television watching it, cursing it and enjoying it at the same time.”

Mustafa Muharram was already a successful screenplay writer before he penned the Mitwalli series. At 60, and after writing more than 110 feature-length films, he was surprised “to wake up one morning and find myself very famous.”

Though he has been married to one woman for 36 years, he thinks that he knows why the show has struck a chord. This is how he put it in English: “The Arab man is not faithful to one wife, never,” he said. “He has many relations.” Multiple marriages provide a legal and happy way around the fact that adultery is a sin in Islam, he said.

Feminists who criticize the show are “not honest in their opinion,” he added. “They prefer their husbands have a girlfriend while they hate that he marries other women. . . . I put the solution in a legal way. Our religion gives us a solution.”

The show does seem to be going over much better with men.

“I think Mitwalli is an excellent man, and I believe the show is very important from the social perspective, the way he treats his women is perfect,” said Rashid Osseiran, 60, a resident of Beirut who is married to one wife.

In one recent episode, Mitwalli was either lounging in his pajamas with his wives seated around him, or flirting with his soon-to-be fourth wife, or dreaming of her. “Why do you need to marry again, you are going to be a grandfather,” one of his three wives said. Mitwalli smiled and replied, “You stay young forever.”