This Magical Battle Could Get Hairy

Do you believe in magic?

Hollywood apparently does--so much so that it is offering an imminent war of the wizards.

The battle will be joined when “Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring” hits theaters Wednesday, putting it squarely in the path of the “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” juggernaut.

In this corner, you have a formidable defending champ: “Harry Potter’s” Professor Albus Dumbledore, played by longtime movie actor Richard Harris. In the opposite corner, the once and perhaps future champion, based on decades of popularity of the J.R.R. Tolkien books and early reviews: Gandalf the Grey, played by veteran stage star Sir Ian McKellen. Let’s take a look at the tale of the tape:

Richard Harris as Dumbledore

Age: 71

Nationality: Irish

Character’s age: Measured in centuries

Character’s look: ZZ Top impersonator--in a bathrobe

Mentor to: Harry Potter, bespectacled engine of merchandising machine

Archenemy: Lord Voldemort, a bodyless force of evil (not to be confused with Osama bin Laden)

Realm: Hogwarts, boarding school for wand-waving British adolescents

Most magical act on film Eating an earwax-flavored jellybean with a straight face

Best known off-screen as: Hard-drinking film star of 1960s and ‘70s

Strangest credit Topped the music charts with ‘60s kitsch classic “MacArthur Park”

Ever starred in a blockbuster like this? “Gladiator” comes closest, but he died in the first reel

Magic powers would have been useful: To extricate him from flops like “Orca” and Bo Derek’s “Tarzan, the Ape Man”

Ian McKellen as Gandalf

Age: 62

Nationality: British

Character’s age: Older than the hills

Character’s look: Walt Whitman on a bad hair day--in a bathrobe

Mentor to: Frodo Baggins, hairy-footed Hobbit on a mission

Archenemy: Sauron, a bodyless force of evil (embodied by giant fiery cat’s-eye marble)

Realm: Middle-earth--like medieval England as imagined by the offspring of Marianne Williamson and Marilyn Manson

Most magical act on film: Battling a fire-breathing Balrog in the Mines of Moria

Best known off-screen as: First out gay Shakespearean to be knighted by the queen

Strangest credit: Played Bergmanesque figure of Death in “Last Action Hero” opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger

Ever starred in a blockbuster like this? Played villain Magneto in “X-Men”

Magic powers would have been useful: To snag role of Salieri in movie of “Amadeus,” a role he originated on stage but lost out on in the film

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Marshall Fine is an occasional contributor to Calendar.