Journals Offer Up Ho-Ho-Hos

Medical journals don’t tend to be light reading fodder, filled as they are with turgid clinical trials, ads for heartburn drugs and graphically illustrated diseases-of-the-week. But come December, a few lighten up--even get a bit silly.

Most notable is the British Medical Journal, which in less festive times tends to run articles with titles such as “Empirical Treatment of Uncomplicated Cystitis” and “The Impact of New Drugs on Management of Glaucoma in Scotland.”

Then December rolls around, and the “Christmas BMJ” appears--stuffed with offbeat reports such as these from past years:

* Do dogs really bite more during a full moon? (A statistical analysis of Australia’s hospital admissions for dog bites reveal that they do not.)

* What’s the best way to remove blood stains? (Contrary to popular wisdom, hot water worked better than cold in an empirical study of hospital laundry--and both worked better than a commercial stain remover.)

* Do shaken and stirred martinis differ in their potential effects on the body? (Shaken martinis--preferred by James Bond--have greater antioxidant powers, according to some Canadian chemists.)

* Do surgeons swear while operating? (Yes, according to diligent record-keeping during 100 consecutive surgeries at a British hospital. Swearing, in this study, was most common among orthopedic surgeons and least common among ear, nose and throat specialists.)

This year’s Christmas BMJ (www.bmj.com) is similarly offbeat. One article reports that screenwriters who win Oscars appear to live shorter lives than those who don’t. (Does the fame lead them into unhealthful, fast-paced lifestyles?)

Another found that reciting rosary prayers or yoga mantras can be physically, not just spiritually, beneficial. It levels out a person’s breathing to an even six breaths per minute, in a way that enhances heart and lung function.

A third investigation showed that the first letter of a scientist’s name affects his or her chance of getting the coveted first authorship on a research paper (scientists named Aardvark should do well).

In the same issue, in the spirit of “making articles snappier and more readable,” a BMJ editor compressed many of the reports down to 17-syllable haikus, such as:

Joy of Oscarhood

Tempered by early winter;

Losers live longer.

Assistant editor Dr. Kamran Abbasi explains why the BMJ lets its hair down once a year: “We publish lots of very serious stuff, but the point is you can use the same scientific methods to study rather interesting, off-the-wall and fun topics.” He sees it as adding to the cheer of the holiday season. “It’s ideal for Christmas--people want to relax, put their feet up, eat some turkey and read the Christmas issue of the BMJ.”

Test Your Medical Knowledge

The BMJ isn’t the only medical journal to have a bumper holiday issue. So does Medical Education, a journal read and written by those concerned with teaching medical students. The journal is usually brimming with education-speak, but December’s issue includes a “Christmas stocking” filled with lighter fare.

This year’s issue offers a medically themed satire of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol,” an article about how to cure professors of “lecturalgia” (i.e. giving really boring lectures), and poems about medical students written by--of all people--Karl Marx, the founder of modern socialism.

Medical Education also has a quiz, put together by editorial assistant Julie Brice, who resisted pressure to cough up the answers over the phone. The theme: doctors in great literature. You have to supply the doctor’s name, the book and the author.

Here are a couple of the questions:

* “This Greek doctor cured Stamatis of an ‘exorbitant auditory impediment’ with the aid of a fish hook; and he also healed Psipsina by prescribing minced mice.”

* “He traveled with a large party of pilgrims, and although he did not study the Bible much, there was no one like him when it came to astronomy and surgery. ‘He was a verray, parfit praktisour.’”

You can view the entire quiz at www.mededuc.com. (It pops up in a separate box.) You can even submit your answers to the journal. After all, there’s a magnum of champagne to be had. Good luck and happy holidays.

If you have an idea for a Booster Shots topic, write or e-mail Rosie Mestel at the L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st. St., Los Angeles, CA 90012, rosie.mestel@latimes.com.