On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Ashcroft! On, Blitzen!

‘Tis the day after Christmas. My work is all done.

The children are happy; I haven’t missed one.

But this year was different, the hardest I’ve had

since that time with Rudolph when the fog was so bad.

*

It started off nicely, the night sublime.

We made it through Canada in world record time.

But as soon as we crossed into USA space,

an F-15 fighter got up in my face.

*

I hailed the young pilot with a wave of my hand.

But he shook off my greeting and forced me to land.

I set down in a pasture and made the cows scatter.

I had not an inkling of what was the matter.

*

When up came a truck and some soldiers got out.

“Just stay where you are!” I heard one of them shout.

I knew in that moment that I’d hit some bad luck.

Then they tossed my bags, and then me, in their truck.

*

My reindeer were frantic, the poor little ones.

I feared they weren’t safe from these men and their guns.

I leaned out the back and in loud voice did call

“Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!”

*

We drove to a building, ‘twas fenced all around.

They led me inside without making a sound.

We walked down a hall. “Stomp, stomp, stomp” went their shoes

and entered a room that was marked, “Interviews.”

*

A man in a suit that was dark as the night,

with glasses that shielded his eyes from my sight,

the Justice Department he said he was from,

and, rapid as Dasher, his questions did come.

*

“From where are you traveling?” “Where do you live?”

“I’ll ask all the questions. The answers you’ll give.”

“Where did you learn how to fly with a beast?”

“Do you know anyone from the dark Middle East?”

What’s Your Mission?

“What is your mission and what’s in those sacks?”

“Weapons, explosives, supplies for attacks?”

“Is this a new means of covert transportation?”

“Are you a security threat to our nation?”

*

“A threat to your nation!” I said. “Ho, ho, ho!

It’s clear I am someone whom you do not know.

I live at the North Pole, but not by myself.

I live with my wife and all manner of elf.

*

“Those creatures are reindeer--a magical beast.

I know everyone from the vast Middle East.

I’ve known them for years and I know all their names.

I’ve been to their houses and played with their games.

*

“But wait, I can show you.” I whistled a note

and reached into the pocket of my old red coat.

The soldiers their weapons they gripped like a vise

as I pulled out my list of who’s naughty and nice.

*

The man grew excited. His eyes bugged out wide.

He beckoned a soldier and drew him aside.

He spoke in a whisper, though one I could hear.

“This looks like a big catch. Go bring the boss here.”

*

And soon to my wondering eyes did appear

a man dressed in black with his eyes full of fear.

His outfit was festooned with red, white and blue.

I said, “Johnny Ashcroft. Hello. How are you?”

*

He brushed past my greeting and said, without mirth,

“I represent the greatest nation on Earth.

You’ve breached our defenses and entered our space,

but now you are stuck ‘tween a rock and hard place.

Why Are You Here?

“Who do you work for? Why are you here,

with weapons stashed neatly inside of your gear?

And are you now, or do you associate,

with terrorists or rogue enemies of state?

*

“Your bags will be opened, their contents unwrapped--

with great care, of course, should they be booby-trapped.

We’ll scan them and X-ray them with uttermost haste,

in case they hold anthrax or nuclear waste.

*

“You don’t have a visa. You come from afar.

You’re bearded like Talibs from Kandahar.

You live in seclusion, with elves I hear tell.

I’m sure you’re a part of some terrorist cell.”

*

“I work for the children,” I said in reply.

“I’m here to bring joy to them down from the sky.

The weapons you speak of are toy guns and bows

for Janeys and Rainias, Mohammeds and Joes.

*

“And do I know terrorists? Oh, no, my dear,

though being with you I can almost feel fear.

Unless you would count that one time I recall,

when you hit young Billy for taking your ball.

*

“I only know children, for I have long learned

that adults too often already have turned

to thinking in narrow ideas and straight lines.

With children, there’s no need to open their minds.

*

“It’s hard to see someone as strange, odd or queer,

when you live with elves and with flying reindeer.

I know I look foreign and you think me weird

but even Lord Jesus had dark skin and beard.

*

“Dear Johnny, please listen, from me you can’t hide.

I know that you still have a sweet child inside.

Here’s a message for him--hold it fast--it’s a start.

True evil is when you have hardened your heart.

*

“Let go of your anger or else you will miss

the magic in love, in a smile or a kiss.

If you would fight evil, remember your youth

and strive for compassion, non-judgment and truth.

*

Peace Isn’t Easy

“You may call that weakness. I assure you it’s not.

For peace is not easy, and love’s flame burns hot.

To stand up to evil, to fight and to win,

you first must prevail in the battle within.

*

“And now I must go. I am glad we could chat.

I’d love to stay on but I’ve no time for that.

As for searching my bags, I cannot permit this,

or all the world’s children will miss their Christmas.”

*

So I, and my bags, with a snap, just went poof

and joined my good reindeer, who were up on the roof.

To the soldiers I called as we flew out of sight:

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”

*

Tim Rozgonyi is a freelance writer who lives in Pittsburgh, Pa. Rozgonyi can be reached at his e-mail address: timrozgonyi@hotmail .com.