A Soulful Approach to New Year’s Resolutions

Face reality, and effortless change will take place.

--Zen saying quoted in “Simple Changes,” by Robert J. Wicks

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Pooching around the house somewhat aimlessly one recent weekend, enjoying life and noticing that the intensity of the blue in the sky is not as intense as out New Mexico way but still pretty good for Washington, it came to me that I had yet to settle on any New Year’s resolutions.

What to resolve?

I couldn’t think of anything, really--but then three small, quietly dramatic events took place. They seemed suggestive.

The first was that my eye fell upon a box containing my Freestyle U.S.A. heart rate monitor. You strap this baby around your middle and it transmits your heart rate to a little wristwatch that comes with it.

“Burn Fat Faster With Less Effort,” the box says.

Due to a medical paradox of some sort, this actually appears to be true. According to my doc, if you get going too fast on the treadmill, you’re burning muscle. That’s not good.

In that moment, it seemed to me that simply continuing to pay attention to my heart was a small, good thing to bear in mind in the days ahead, the human heart being--like the blue skies of New Mexico and Washington--a mysterious and irreplaceable gift.

Then I happened to be talking on the phone with my youngest daughter, Margaret, 21. She mentioned a film project she’s doing in college and I praised her, allowing as how she might well be the next Spielberg.

“I don’t want to be big time,” she replied. “I want to be mini time. I just want enough to get by on, and be happy.”

How’d she come up with this counterintuitive notion?

“I’m learning from the people around me,” Margaret answered. “Being wildly successful would ruin me. It ruins the best people.”

As I absorbed the message, I heard her chewing.

“What are you eating?”

“A carrot.”

We both chuckled.

A small, good moment.

Finally, while Christmas shopping, my eye fell on a book by psychologist Robert J. Wicks called “Simple Changes: Quietly Overcoming Barriers to Personal and Professional Growth” (Thomas More Publishing, 2000).

The chapter titles intrigued me: “Making Space Within (By questioning further),” “Sweet Disgust (When being fed up is good),” “Making Time to Change (So we don’t continue to just fill our life with mindless activities),” “A Little Effort (Not magic or too much work)” and so on.

“One of the most precious graces of life is freedom, inner freedom,” Wicks writes. “To change, move, really grow, we need ‘space’ within ourselves. Habits, worries, emotions, defensiveness, stubbornness, and fear all take up room. Maybe . . . to find joy and peace, we don’t need to add something to our lives. Instead, we need to drop something.”

Wicks, according to the jacket, also wrote “Living a Gentle, Passionate Life,” “Touching the Holy” and “After 50.” He teaches at Loyola College in Baltimore.

I called him the other evening.

“You’re working late,” he said.

“Life in the fast lane!” I said.

“My kind of guy!” he said.

I asked what his New Year’s resolution is.

“To stay in the now,” he replied. “I’ve found that there’s a circle of grace, where one thing leads to another. Two things that lead into one another are love and freedom. Love without freedom tends to be addiction, and freedom without love tends to be erratic behavior. But when you bring them together in the now--love and freedom--life is really neat. . . . So my resolution is to stay in the now and appreciate what’s going on.”

A small, good idea if ever there was one. Besides, I realized as we cheerfully bid one another farewell, it’s a resolution that’s extraordinarily easy to implement.

Like I have a choice?