LAUGH LINES

Ice Ice Baby: “Doctors in Singapore claim they have delivered the first baby conceived using both frozen sperm and a frozen egg. It’s an odd way of conceiving a child. I’ve heard of fathering kids out of wedlock, but fathering kids out of Zip-lock?” (Jay Leno)

The High Road: “Warner Bros. confirmed that drug paraphernalia was found on the set of the ‘Harry Potter’ movie. . . . The working title of the film: ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stoned.’ ” (Jerry Perisho)

What a Production: “Kevin Costner might be getting married to his longtime girlfriend. If they do get married, Costner says he wants to plan the wedding, which means it will last three hours and lose $200 million.” (Conan O’Brien)

Behave Thyself: “Democrats have been instructed to mind their manners [at the George W. Bush inauguration ceremonies]. No booing, throwing tomatoes or heckling. That kind of behavior is reserved for Clippers home games.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Trouble at Home: “Rapper Vanilla Ice was arrested [recently] . . . after he allegedly ripped hair out of his wife’s head. That shows how stupid he is. He could just play one of his songs, and she would have ripped her own hair out.” (Leno)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.