An Online Battle Plan in the Daily War Against Outrageous Traffic
Trapped in the supernova of gridlock that radiates from the Beverly Center, my husband discovered a reason for automotive Internet access. “I looked up,” he said in tones appropriate to a pilgrim awaiting the Blessed Mother at Lourdes, “and there was this billboard advertising online, real-time traffic reports.”
As he began banging open closet doors in search of our laptop, I contemplated the irony of a thousand L.A. motorists tying up traffic as they hunched over their computers in an effort to avoid tied-up traffic.
But still I was curious. So online I went and quickly found two sites that offer real-time traffic reports. I’m sure there are more--on the Internet there is always more--and I can by no means testify to their accuracy. But I did find them more entertaining than the term “digital traffic reports” might imply.
On https://www.lainsider.com local traffic reports are just a side dish on a buffet of useful consumer information. After choosing an area (Orange County, San Diego, Ventura County, the L.A region) a lovely map appears, all color and light and blinking exclamation points. The exclamation points, according to the legend, indicate “incidents”--accidents, power outages, water-main breaks, celebrity solicitation arrests and the like. At 5 p.m. Monday there were 27 or so “incidents” in the L.A. area. A series of green, yellow and red dots lined various traffic arteries. Red, of course, means stopped, or at least movement at speeds of less than 20 mph; yellow marks 20 to 35 mph and green, the light of Gatsby’s yearning, indicates clear sailing, or rather speeds greater than 35 mph. (This, I think, is where my husband will lose interest. He’s looking more for the guaranteed 65- to 100-mph range.)
One can choose enlarged maps of specific freeways, for which the information is provided by Caltrans traffic sensors, or of surface streets, with similarly color-coded average speeds courtesy of Los Angeles Department of Transportation.
(It really is hard to visit this site without a bag of popcorn and a box of Sno-Caps. A sense of techno-omnipotence allows you to envision any number of “Mission Impossible” scenarios. Suppose you were fleeing downtown pursued by evil villains--you could certainly lose them by speeding down the sidewalk on gridlocked Alvarado. As you rush to save the world via the Griffith Park Observatory, you are stalled by an accident on never-moving Los Feliz Boulevard. But wait, the quiet residential street that runs parallel is open. And what of that flashing exclamation point at Bundy Drive and Wilshire Boulevard--could it be a diversionary bombing by international jewel thieves?)
Back in the real world, one can scan the tie-ups and indulge in a certain Schadenfreude--there’s nothing like contemplating a bunch of poor souls who are not you, dodging incidents on the 605 while you relax in the comfort of your home or office. But the best viewing is long-term--keep an eye on the area maps between 3 and 6 p.m., as the green goes to yellow then to almost solid red. It’s a little like the “let’s play thermonuclear war” scene at the end of “War Games.”
https://Www.traffic.com has nowhere near the dramatic arc, but it does provide a greater geographic palette with information on cities including Baltimore, Dallas, Chicago, New York and San Francisco--whether you actually need to check the traffic around BWI or just want to walk along memory lane via the Throg’s Neck Bridge, all is revealed with the nudge of a mouse.
This site does not give average speeds, but it does pinpoint “alerts,” “advisories,” “events” and those ubiquitous “incidents,” the last of which is marked by a rather unsettling red explosion icon. For Angelenos, a visit to the site can only bolster self-esteem; though there are traffic troubles everywhere, none compares with the incident-studded snarl of highways that most of us face down on a daily basis. Far from the drowsy, dipsy lotus eaters so many suppose us to be, we are the reigning road warriors of the nation.
And that’s something.
Mary McNamara can be reached at mary.mcnamara@latimes.com.
