Hey, Big Spender

To hear conservatives tell it, you just can’t trust government. From time to time they set out to prove it. For instance, take Tom DeLay.

I’m about to call the congressman from Texas a phony. But I do it reluctantly. DeLay, a GOP provocateur for the anti-government crowd in Congress, may end up getting the better of it, oddly enough. He and the others like him who run around Washington with their hair on fire have rigged the game. When DeLay shows himself to be a garden-variety hypocrite, it only proves the point: See, you can’t trust anybody in government, even us.

The theory, perhaps, is that voters will grow increasingly repelled by the whole idea of government, thereby advancing the cynical anti-Washington ideology of DeLay and the others.

But I share that old-fashioned idea that politicians are supposed to be judged, foremost, by what they say they are.

I’m speaking now of bloated, pork-barrel government. When Democrats dip into the federal budget to grab some bacon for the folks back home, you may chafe. But you can’t very well call them double-crossers. That’s pretty much what they stand for. Republicans, of course, insist this is a threat to our values and prosperity. DeLay has made a disagreeable career advancing this case: “It’s time to hold the line on reckless Washington spending.... Someone needs to raise a red flag for the American family.”

OK. Red flag.

You see, the folks back home in Texas expect more from their congressman than just his ideological rantings. And DeLay has obliged them. Oh, not his everyday constituents, mind you, but the local corporate tycoons who find it impossible to get around except by private jet.

You’d think if anyone could afford to improve their personal airfield, it would be those who keep their fleet of 154 corporate aircraft at Sugar Land Airport in DeLay’s Houston-area district. But these oil and chemical executives needn’t bother reaching for their free-enterprise checkbooks.

DeLay grabbed $2 million of the federal budget to expand and improve Sugar Land Airport to eliminate those irritating taxiways that cross runways. He wouldn’t want anything to delay these busy executives from their rounds. Ordinary travelers at LAX, for instance, must wait frequently while jets taxi across runways. But that’s no way for a Texas executive to travel. Plus, according to the Washington Post, DeLay also made sure that Sugar Land was on the government’s transportation priority list for more pork down the road.

Airport records show that 86% of the fuel sold at Sugar Land is for corporate aircraft. Sugar Land’s aviation director, Phillip Savko, conceded that spending for projects like this “is normally considered a low priority by the FAA. We’re very fortunate that Congressman DeLay explained the importance of this.”

And fortunate as well that DeLay is the House GOP whip with a seat on the transportation subcommittee of the Appropriations Committee, and that his crusade against government boondoggles doesn’t extend to taking care of big shots at home.

So, I mean no respect at all when I say that Tom DeLay is a phony. But I thank him for it. His action illustrates how government is supposed to work. For the improvement of the nation, corporate executives too. The shame is that conservatives like DeLay refuse to own up to it. So instead of openly debating priorities, they strike fake poses and demonize government.

DeLay would have us believe that he had no choice but to shove his snout into the public trough. A spokesman was quoted as saying the congressman doesn’t really approve of this kind of pork-barrel politics. But since others on Capitol Hill are doing it, this aide explained, DeLay is not going to be left behind.

Isn’t that the defense looters use? Hey, everyone else was grabbing stuff out of that store! I couldn’t help but follow. If they hadn’t done it, I wouldn’t have.

Conservatives expect to skate by on their image. No matter how much lard they skim on the side, surely they aren’t as greedy as the free-spending Democrats. Whew. Facts show this claim is phony too. Since the latest Republican ascendancy in Congress, individual members of Congress are stampeding to the public trough at three times the rate of the old days when Democrats ran the show. Citing figures assembled by Congress itself, the Post reported that pending bills contain 18,898 of these special-project requests from members from both parties. Total cost in this year’s budget: $279 billion. That’s almost equal to the military’s annual budget.

So next time you hear Tom DeLay and his gang warn about the big spenders who are running off with your money, you’ll know who they mean.