Crystal: MTV Didn’t Invent Parodies

An open letter to Patrick Goldstein regarding his June 5 column (“At the MTV Movie Awards, It’s About Plugging, Not Winning”):

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I want to correct the inaccurate and outrageous accusation in your column that I “lifted” the idea for our opening sequences on the Oscar telecasts from the MTV movie parodies.

First of all, I have been doing movie parodies on television since 1976. I opened live HBO specials with elaborate movie parodies in ‘84, ’86 and ‘90, and I had inserted myself into a dance number with Laurel and Hardy from “Way Out West” as far back as the 1992 Oscars. It was that piece that inspired the idea to be cut into existing footage of the nominated films.

We all loved the idea, and Troy Miller was suggested to direct and produce it. That was when I saw Troy’s parody of “Twister” for the first time. In that piece, no existing footage of “Twister” was used. It was a sketch. The concept of putting me into the five nominated films, intercut with existing footage, is quite different than creating a total parody of a single film.

Troy was brought in because he had created the “Twister” parody. Troy was asked point blank by me if our concept was the same. If it was, I wouldn’t have done it, nor would he. We all felt that, as good as the MTV films were, ours was unique.

In the three years we have done the openings, we have never heard from MTV, and I actually was invited to appear in a movie parody for them with Dr. Evil (from “Austin Powers”) a few years ago.

That is why MTV President Van Toffler’s quote--”We’re not suing. But they not only stole the idea, they stole Troy Miller”--is surprising, insulting and wrong.

Your matter-of-fact and irresponsible accusation, coupled with Toffler’s comments, is a nasty attack on my character and I resent that I was never contacted by you to tell my side of the creation of the Oscar openings.

I have worked for many years in this industry and have always tried to be honest and original in my work. To insult my integrity like this is a very cheap, low blow, something you are well known for. Good writers do research; good writers investigate and can substantiate their accusations. Not you. It is an “open secret” among many performers to steer clear of you because your “Big Picture” is never fully painted.

Do I like the MTV parodies? Yes. Did Joel Gallen invent them? No. I also liked Steve Martin’s “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid,” which intercut existing footage brilliantly, and I was also inspired by the great parodies done on “SCTV” years before MTV, and I was also inspired by Sid Caesar’s parody of “From Here to Eternity.”

Who inspired you? My guess would be Roy Cohn.