With a Veeck, There’s Mime but No Reason

Mike Veeck, son of legendary baseball impresario Bill Veeck, has been named a creative consultant for the Florida Marlins. And, like his father, he’ll try anything.

He told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel that his favorite promotion in the minors while running the St. Paul (Minn.) Saints was Mime-O-Vision Night. Instead of using instant replay, mimes stood on the dugout and re-created plays for the crowd.

“Fans were stunned by the stupidity of it,” he said.

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Trivia time: Who holds the NBA record for assists in a season?

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Homage crisis: Coca-Cola is trying to decide what to do with hundreds of Dale Earnhardt vending machines, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Some store owners want them removed, while others consider them a memorial.

There are reports of fans treating machines as shrines and leaving flowers, and some cases of fans stealing Earnhardt’s photos--and even the machines.

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New experience: Don Pierson of the Chicago Tribune reports that Buffalo quarterbacks Rob Johnson and Doug Flutie had job interviews with new General Manager Tom Donahoe and Coach Gregg Williams.

Each quarterback was grilled for six hours.

“Every question you can imagine,” Williams said, “from community relations to why they wanted to be a starter. Both have a lot of confidence in their own ability, and neither one of them likes each other. They were bluntly honest about that.”

The Bills must have liked Johnson’s answers better. Flutie was waived Wednesday.

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Wait a minute! Deion Sanders is excited to be back in baseball with the Cincinnati Reds. “In all my time in professional sports, I have never promised anything,” Sanders said. “But I am promising you this: I will be not only be on the opening day roster. I’ll be batting leadoff.”

Comment from Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: “Well, not quite. Because of the nature of his contract, Sanders can’t play for the Reds until May. 1.”

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He can afford it: Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Chris Webber of the Sacramento Kings says he’s bored with the city. I’d like to tell Chris, ‘Yo, you live 90 minutes from San Francisco. Have your chauffeur give you a lift.’ ”

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Eclectic group: Blackie Sherrod in the Dallas Morning News, writing on Brooklyn: “Among Erasmus High alumni: Sandy Koufax, Al McGuire, Al Davis and some canary named Barbra Streisand.”

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Old sports joke: Best places to coach are, 1. prisons, no road games; and, 2. orphanages, no parents.

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Looking back: On this day in 1988 Wayne Gretzky of the Edmonton Oilers became the NHL’s all-time assists leader, with No. 1,050 in a game against the Kings.

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Trivia answer: John Stockton of the Utah Jazz with 1,164 in 1990-91. He also ranks second and third on the all-time list.

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And finally: Boston Celtic star Paul Pierce blamed his four-for-16 shooting performance at Portland on Feb. 17 on the wrong pregame meal:

“It was clam chowder. What . . . am I doing ordering clam chowder in Oregon? That’s my fault.”