Rubin Offers Rosenberg a Job Trade for a Week

Here we go again.

I was already getting geared up for my annual sparring session with The Times that always takes place after our Oscar coverage. But it appears that Howard Rosenberg sat up long enough to remove that sharp pencil he had been sitting on to once again rip into the merits, or lack thereof, of my colleagues and I who dwell in the world of local morning television (“Your Mute Button Doesn’t Stand a Chance,” March 16).

We welcome Howard’s attention and his suggestion that he has actually learned from past criticisms leveled against him from other broadcast outlets. I probably could stand to learn a little too, so I respectfully submit this challenge to Howard.

Let’s trade places for one week.

I can envision my week as the television critic for the Los Angeles Times. “Honey, could you adjust the La-Z-Boy? This massage feature isn’t working. And sweetie, could you pop in another video from some obscure cable channel? Now, let me see, where in the world am I going to find the time to write the occasional review and my two scheduled columns for the entire week?”

Howard is going to in be for a real change of pace. He can use my alarm clock--the one that is set for 4 a.m. Howard can choose what stories to report on, write every word of his report himself, order the videotape he needs, select all the graphics, get made up and come up with one or two gags that poke fun at his bosses at the L.A. Times. Of course, he will have to do this for five days in a row.

And then, if we time this correctly, my Friday newspaper column will be my review of Howard’s performance on “The KTLA Morning News.”

I have already seen Howard on “The O’Reilly Factor,” so he clearly has no shame when it comes to appearing on low-rent television. But can he pull off for even a week what we do every single day, and have done for nearly 10 years? Somehow I doubt it, but he is welcome to try.

Howard’s column did make a few good points, but as generous as he is with his criticisms, he is needlessly stingy with his praise. KTLA does have the better, more experienced street reporters. I am proud of my friends and colleagues. Their names are Eric Spillman, Bill Smith, Willa Sandmeyer and Gayle Anderson. We also have the woman regarded as the best helicopter traffic reporter in the entire country. Her name is Jennifer York.

My favorite portions of Howard’s missive, of course, dealt with me; I particularly liked his comparison between the Calendar section as a “surgeon” and yours truly as “Jack the Ripper.” Howard, face it: We are both nothing more than whittlers, trying in effect to carve the same bar of soap into something interesting. I have to do it daily on television and radio; you have to do it for your occasional reviews and your twice-a-week column.

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Howard and I may quibble about the ratings, but even our friends at “Good Day L.A.” would be the first to tell you that they wouldn’t even be on the air if not for the successful format we invented. I also feel compelled to add this: “The KTLA Morning News” is the single most emulated news format in the country. Every single day, television stations around the country tape our show and attempt to model their morning news programs after it. I don’t believe there is a single newspaper newsroom in the country where an editor has said, “Gee, I wonder what the Calendar section in the Los Angeles Times is running today.”

And speaking of newsrooms, here is yet another local media story The Times neglects to cover. Our boss of bosses, the man who in effect signs Howard’s paycheck and mine, is named John Madigan. He is the president of Tribune Co. He said in early March that it is his goal for all the media properties Tribune owns in a single market to combine their newsroom operations. That means, sooner or later, Howard and I will be working out of the exact same office.

Howard, we are making room for you at KTLA. We have space for your reclining chair, for your VCR and for your wide-screen TV. We are also in the process of widening the doors here to accommodate your head.

I hope you will seriously consider my offer. In the era of larger and larger media conglomerates, it is only a matter of time before filling in for one another will be part of our job descriptions.

I know that I can do your job. I have had various articles published in The Times since I was 13 years old. I also know it is easy to take very cheap shots in print at what I do on television.

It’s one thing to write about it; it’s another thing to actually try to pull it off.

Good luck. I can’t wait to review you.

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Sam Rubin is the entertainment reporter for “The KTLA Morning News.” He is also seen daily on WGN-TV in Chicago and can be heard on KNX-AM (1070) and KLSX-FM (97.1).

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