His Departure Won’t Be Telecast in Prime Time

Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post, anticipating that Deion Sanders’ one season with the Redskins will be his last:

“[He] dropped us like a bag of feed from a flatbed Ford. One season and: See ya; wouldn’t want to be ya. And for what, baseball in Cincinnati? What’s Cincinnati got that we don’t got?

“Baseball, stupid.”

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More Kornheiser: “The Deion thing is amazing. He wasn’t here long enough to go through his full wardrobe. What he wore here would basically fill one closet.

“That’s penny ante stuff for Deion. The guy is to closets what the Old Woman in the Shoe is to children--he has so many he doesn’t know what to do.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NBA single-game playoff record for three-point field goals?

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Endless possibilities: David Whitley of the Orlando Sentinel, speculating on other ventures for Dennis Tito, besides spending a week playing cosmonaut:

* “Tito pays Don King $10 million to arrange a WBC heavyweight championship bout featuring him against Gary Coleman.

* “Tito pays the Ukraine $5 million to let him run on its 2004 Olympic 400-meter relay team.”

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Give him a break: A trial began Monday for an Atlanta strip-club owner accused of paying off the Mafia and providing prostitutes for NBA players.

“Hey, the guy was just trying to help out,” comedy writer Alex Kaseberg told the San Francisco Chronicle. “Everyone knows how hard it is for the Mafia to make money and for NBA players to meet women.”

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Trencherman’s tip: Former Dodger Manager Tom Lasorda had this advice for anyone eating at a buffet: “A lot of times I quit eating, not because I was full, but because my arms were tired. I was bending at the elbow. I teach them to bend at the wrist.”

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Why would he? Nick Canepa in the San Diego Union-Tribune: “Todd Marinovich admits he got past drug testing while quarterbacking USC by using somebody else’s urine. He made a rookie mistake the last time he tested, using Robert Downey Jr.’s sample.”

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Not too yummy: To coach his diseased kidneys back in shape for next season, Miami Heat center Alonzo Mourning plans an off-season regimen that includes rigorous workouts, daily therapy and a strict diet.

“Beet juice, parsley, carrots and a little celery,” he said.

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Trivia answer: Rex Chapman of Phoenix, nine, against Seattle on April 25, 1997.

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And finally: Mark Kiszla in the Denver Post: “Colorado hasn’t officially dismissed the Kings for summer vacation. But their golf clubs are waiting by the front door.

“While Andy Murray of Los Angeles bravely insisted his team is not yet toast, the coach will wake up this morning, smell the coffee and realize hopeless denial is being served for breakfast.”