Angels Can Only Imagine Making a Rally Like This

I came to Anaheim on Tuesday night to pronounce the Angels dead, only to run into Rex Hudler, who is somewhat of an expert at mounting comebacks.

“Two days into the hospital my wife hugged me and told me the doctor said most people don’t recover from something like this,” said Hudler, who suffered a brain hemorrhage five weeks ago. “And we both wept--that’s the first time I realized I could have died.”

A robust Hudler thanks God for allowing him to live, although it’s the suspicion of some that God probably would like a little more peace and quiet before officially claiming the energetic motor-mouth.

Hudler returned to the Angel broadcast booth Tuesday night for the first time since a severe headache sent him in an ambulance to an Oakland-area hospital. The Edison Field crowd roared--and it hasn’t had much chance to roar this season--with approval when Hudler’s picture was shown on the scoreboard.

Witnesses said broadcasting partner Steve Physioc was holding Hudler by the ankles as Hudler waved to the crowd--fearful the enthusiastic greeting might inspire the pepper pot to leap out of the booth.

*

THE WAY the Angels are playing, they better introduce Hudler before every game. Maybe between every inning. Maybe play him in center field, so when someone hits a routine fly ball it doesn’t drop behind Darin Erstad.

The Angels were losing 7-0 to Toronto--before someone stood up in the bullpen. Exactly--why bother?

The season is over for the Angels and there are 124 games to play.

A year ago the Angels played inspiring baseball, getting more out of the Rally Monkey than their starting pitchers, but good enough to finish two games above .500 and anoint Manager Mike Scioscia a whiz kid.

Now it’s going to take a Rally Gorilla set free to chew up the Seattle Mariners to get the Angels in contention. Knowing Disney’s budget--they’ll probably just ask Scioscia to dress as the Rally Gorilla. That’d scare me.

If Seattle, which is already 20 games over .500, plays .500 baseball the rest of the season, the Angels would have to go 75-49 to pass them in the standings. The Angels are presently four games under .500.

“It doesn’t look good,” said Hudler, and when Hudler pronounces you down for the count, it’s time to check for a pulse.

*

THE ANGELS returned to Anaheim to open a six-game home stand, and at least scored more runs than the Ducks usually score goals.

Asked if it’s something in the water here being drunk by the Ducks and the Angels, a good-natured Tony Tavares, who oversees both teams for Disney, said it might be time for everyone to switch to bottled water.

I’m not sure holy water would make a difference.

*

THE DODGERS, distracted because their games interfere with the chance to watch “NYPD Blue,” are 0-7 in games played on Tuesdays.

BY THE looks of it, Fred Hickman stuffed the ballot box, because I can’t believe knowledgeable NBA writers would show such a lack of knowledge.

You can argue all day about Allen Iverson, Tim Duncan and Shaquille O’Neal being MVP, and nobody is going to be right or wrong, but going nine deep before getting to Kobe Bryant suggests Phil Jackson was advising voters.

Bryant is being penalized for having Shaq on his team, and for not having Jackson in his corner much of the year.

ANNA KOURNIKOVA withdrew from the French Open because of an injury. Tournament officials are now looking for a supermodel to replace her.

*

SOMETHING REMARKABLE--if not unbelievable--is taking place. People are paying money because they want to see the Clippers. Renewal notices for season-ticket holders were just mailed, but the team has already sold more than 1,500 season tickets to new customers.

Carl Lahr, the team’s longtime ticket vice president, said the ticket-buying binge ranks right up there with those after the additions of Danny Manning and Bo Kimble.

*

SOME PEOPLE might get the impression the jury deliberating in the Raiders-NFL case is enjoying a vacation away from work, showing up at the courthouse at 9:30, taking a break an hour later, knocking off for an hour-and-half lunch at noon before taking another break and then going home at 4.

The jury took Tuesday off so a juror could address an ear problem, and while off, another juror hurt her foot--so deliberations won’t begin again until 1 today. One juror already has been excused to take a vacation, while an alternate was released to attend a family wedding.

There’s speculation now that if a verdict doesn’t come by Friday, several jurors may ask to be excused--afraid they won’t make it to court Monday after attending a party for the final episode of “The Sopranos.”

*

CLIPPER ASSISTANT coach John Hammond has left to become player personnel director for the Detroit Pistons.

It’s a promotion, but a great loss for the Clippers.

“He’s going to be hard to replace,” Coach Alvin Gentry said. “He’s not only someone you could count on as a coach, but he’s my best friend.”

*

I BELIEVE when it’s all said and done this season, Juwan Howard will have made more of a contribution to the Lakers than Isaiah Rider.

*

TODAY’S LAST WORD comes in an e-mail from Amit:

“You lack the credibility that real sports writers have. Trust me, there are thousands, maybe millions of people who feel the same way as I do about your writing.”

Let me know when it’s billions.

*

T.J. Simers can be reached at his e-mail address:

t.j.simers@latimes.com.