Hello, Mr. and Mrs. J.Lo

Earlier this year, the romantic prospects for Jennifer Lopez seemed hazy. On Valentine’s Day, her boyfriend’s publicist, in a press release, announced the couple had broken up.

This weekend, however, seven months after the split with P. Diddy (nee Sean Combs), Lopez tied the knot with choreographer Cris Judd.

Lopez, 31, who played a wedding planner in “The Wedding Planner,” married Judd, 32, in a private ceremony in Calabasas on Saturday. Benny Medina, Lopez’s manager, served as best man. Arlene Rodriguez, a friend since childhood, was the maid of honor.

“It was the perfect wedding,” said Alan Nierob, her spokesman. “It was very touching, very personal.”

Lopez and Judd met earlier this year while working on a music video for her hit single “Love Don’t Cost a Thing,” from her multiple-platinum-selling album “J.Lo.”

The wedding, which included about 170 guests, mostly family and close friends, took place at a private home overlooking the mountains. After the ceremony, the first dance for the newlyweds was “Ribbon in the Sky” by Stevie Wonder. Later, the guests were entertained by a salsa band and a DJ. “The place was rocking,” Nierob said. “You wouldn’t believe how many dancers were there.”

Lopez, who made a certain green Versace dress famous, chose Valentino for the wedding. The off-white silk and Chantilly lace gown had a plunging neckline and low-cut back.

This is the singer’s second marriage and Judd’s first. Lopez’s previous marriage--to model Ojani Noa--lasted but a year. They divorced in 1998.

Mix and Mingus

“Phew! is all I can say!” UCLA Director of Performing Arts David Sefton exclaimed at the intermission of Friday’s sold-out performance of Elvis Costello and the 11-piece Charles Mingus Orchestra.

Costello spent a year writing words for Mingus’ complex and compelling arrangements. He exchanged bits of music and lyrics through transatlantic phone calls and correspondences and rehearsed with the orchestra for the first time the week of the UCLA shows--sending Sefton into fits of anxiety.

Early on, Costello marched onto the stage wearing his signature black frames and an oversized black leather jacket. He questioned the audience on his new role as UCLA’s first artist-in-residence.

“How can you be in residence when you don’t live here most of the time?” he asked.

On Friday, fans of the British pop lyricist--among them actress and former UCLA student Heather Graham--offered polite applause. Warm cheers greeted the Costello originals. Sefton proclaimed the evening a success.

“I think mixing things up makes things more interesting,” Sefton said. In March, Sefton will oversee a three-day music festival, All Tomorrow’s Parties, curated by the band Sonic Youth. The show, which had been scheduled for this month at UCLA, was postponed after the Sept. 11 attacks made it impossible for Sonic Youth to access their Manhattan studio.

Counterfeit Carlin

George Carlin’s acerbic one-liners have inspired a generation of young comics and elevated the 64-year-old actor-comedian to cult status. Forget Abe Lincoln. Carlin is one of the most quoted men of his time.

And thanks to the Internet, he’s getting credit for things he didn’t say.

So, the King of Expletives is setting the record straight on his Web site https://www.georgecarlin.com.

Carlin tells fans, “I want people to know that I take care with my writing and try to keep my standards high. But most of this ‘humor’ on the Internet is just plain stupid.” You be the judge. Compare and contrast the bogus Carlin with the real deal.

Real Carlin:

“I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.”

“Those who dance are considered insane by those who can’t hear the music.”

Bogus Carlin:

“If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?”

“When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?”

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Ann O’Neill is on vacation. This column was written by staff writers Gina Piccalo and Louise Roug.