In Brief, This Attorney Has No Objection to the Lawyer Joke in Evidence
I expected some criticism from the legal world when I mentioned a professor’s work-in-progress about lawyer jokes. As an example, I told the one about lawyers replacing rats in lab research. The reason: “There are more of them, and you don’t get so attached to them.”
Sure enough, attorney Gary Ruttenberg scolded me.
He said I left out a third reason for the preference of lawyers over rats:
“There are some things that a rat will not do!”
Unreal estate: Today’s unusual exhibits (see accompanying) include:
* An Altadena home described in real estate jargon that makes it sound as though the owners kept several dogs in the backyard (from Harry Hultine of La Canada Flintridge).
* And a patient swimming container (Edward Kailukaitis of Whittier).
On the road: In Redwood City, Kathleen Constantine of Camarillo noticed a puzzling demand on a street (see photo). Or did it mean mandatory attendance at the garage sale.
Snooze, weather and sports: “A Few Marbles Left” is a humorous collection of essays about the TV news biz by John Corcoran, who worked as a commentator and reporter at KCAL-TV Channel 9 and elsewhere.
He was an on-air personality for two decades, he points out, despite the fact that “if I heard the word ‘hunk’ tossed in my direction, it was usually in reference to something stuck in my beard.”
One of his funnier stories concerns a call he received at home from a reporter at his own station. The reporter wanted to interview him about the O.J. Simpson trial.
Corcoran tried to tell him he must have the wrong person, but the zealous reporter interrupted him to ask where he’d be in an hour.
“Where are you standing now?” Corcoran asked.
“In the newsroom,” the reporter said. “Why?”
“By your desk?” Corcoran asked.
“Yes.
“Good,” Corcoran said. “Set the camera up two desks down from you. I’ll be there in an hour.”
“What?”
“It’s my desk, so it’s real convenient,” Corcoran said.
At which point, the reporter realized what had happened--his assignment desk had given him the phone number of John Corcoran, instead of Johnnie Cochran.
Snooze Biz (cont.): On another occasion, a Hollywood screening, Corcoran was fawned over by a producer who confused him with a famous filmmaker. Thus, Corcoran can say he is perhaps the only person ever mistaken for both Johnnie Cochran and George Lucas.
miscelLAny: Typhoon restaurant in Santa Monica will offer a “special Halloween dinner menu” Oct. 31, including deep-fried water bugs (stuffed with ground pork), stir fried spicy frogs, tom prad (eel soup with soft turtles) and ant egg salad.
Naturally, the restaurant also will serve its regular pan-Asian fare, including giant wild mountain ants, Thai-style crispy scorpions, Taiwanese stir-fried crickets and white sea worms.
Need something to wash that down with? How about a cricket-stuffed olive martini or a Manchurian ant margarita (with ants-and-ground-chili-pepper coating on the rim).
Bon appetit!
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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.
