When Leaving the Scene of a Crime, Don’t Also Leave Your Cell Phone

In today’s stupid-criminal-tricks episode, the Big Bear Grizzly reports that a group of diners fled a restaurant without paying.

Small problem: One of the elusive eaters left behind his cell phone. Authorities tracked him down to inform him that he was under arrest.

Thanks but no thanks: Some offers you might want to think about twice (see accompanying):

* A body shop that seems to question the quality of its own work (Harriet Klein of Palm Springs).

* A remodeler who may try too hard to make a point with a customer (Jim Hardie of Rancho Palos Verdes).

* A gardener who claims he can also do mall demolition work (Scott Wilson of Long Beach).

* And, finally, a furniture company that will leave you with nothing but a door frame (Chuck Lobb of Torrance).

Signature lines (cont.): More trademark phrases of broadcasters and performers:

* “Peter Potter’s pack of pretty platters,” the disc jockey of the same name (recalled by Gordon Verrell).

* “I’m Roger Carroll and I play records” (from Chuck McPeak, who adds that on Christmas Eve the longtime KMPC disc jockey would announce, “I’m Roger Records and I play carols”).

* “Good Morgan” Robert W. Morgan (from Alan Simon, who points out it was ideal for the early shift because “morgan” means “morning” in German).

* And, finally, Val Fields points out that show biz’s most mysterious sign-off may have been entertainer Jimmy Durante’s: “Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.”

Pigeons, rats and zombies: What more could you want? Scooping Daily Variety’s Army Archerd, I bring you the intriguing plot lines for some of the entries in the Nov. 2-4 Smogdance Film Festival at the Cal Poly Pomona Downtown Center:

* “Blue Haven,” directed by Julian Cautherley (18 minutes): “Two friends journey to find the perfect swimming pool to skate in. But $40,000 and a sex change later, they find true love instead.”

* “Herb Zipper’s How to Be a Cyber-Lovah,” directed by Keir Serrie (7 minutes): Online sex in a futuristic society.

* “Rattus Maximus,” directed by Melanie Hubbard (10 minutes): “Holland and his best friend Ferdinand have a relationship that will last forever . . . or do they?”

* “Pigeon,” directed by Meghan Van Goethem (13 minutes): “Dora has one last delivery and it’s been a long time coming.”

* “Pray for Dawn,” directed by Brian Thomas Barnhart (80 minutes): “Rancho Cucamonga filmmaker’s picaresque tale of chemical plant workers on the run after zombie takeover.”

Good Morgan!

miscelLAny: As for the junk e-mail advertising a “solemate,” Dave Kase of Palos Verdes Estates and David Fritz of Reseda disagreed with my contention that it was for people preoccupied with feet. They saw it as a reference to cold, slimy companions.

“I just assumed it was for people who would rather spend their lives with a fish than with another human being,” Fritz said. “I frankly don’t see much difference when it comes to L.A.”

Or Rancho Cucamonga, while you’re at it.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.