RATING TODAY’S TV GAMES

* * * * Whoa, Nellie.

* * * Order some pizza

* * Channel-surf ... or hit the beach

* Weeds need pulling

* * * North Carolina (0-2) at No. 4 Texas (1-0), 9 a.m., Channels 7, 3, 10, 42: Texas vs. North Carolina barbecue debate is more competitive than Longhorn Coach Mack Brown against his former team. LINE: Texas by 23.

* * * No. 19 Fresno State (2-0) at No. 23 Wisconsin (1-1), 9 a.m., ESPN: The Red Wave will become a tsunami if Fresno State pulls another upset after beating Colorado and Oregon State. LINE: Wisconsin by four.

* Western Michigan (1-0) at No. 9 Virginia Tech (1-0), 9 a.m., ESPN2: After watching the scintillating Michael Vick, witnessing Grant Noel perfect the swing pass is particularly unsatisfying. LINE: Virginia Tech by 151/2.

* * No. 14 UCLA (1-0) at Kansas (1-0), 9:30 a.m., FSN: This one would be considerably more appealing if Bruins and Jayhawks were playing basketball in Allen Fieldhouse. LINE: UCLA by 13.

* * * No. 11 Michigan (1-0) at No. 15 Washington (0-0), 12:30 p.m., Channel 7: No parade, but here’s a Rose Bowl matchup in a season when neither the Big Ten nor Pac-10 champion is likely to be in Pasadena. LINE: Washington by three.

* * Alabama Birmingham (1-0) at No. 6 Florida State (1-0), 2:30 p.m., ESPN2: It’s worth a look at Chris Weinke’s replacement at Florida State, Chris Rix from Santa Margarita High. Otherwise, a blowout’s a blowout. LINE: Florida State by 29.

* * * No. 12 Kansas State (0-0) at USC (1-0), 3:30 p.m., FSN: Kansas State hasn’t lost a nonconference game since 1992. Then again, USC is quite a step up from such fare as Ball State. LINE: Kansas State by three.

* * * No. 21 South Carolina (1-0) at No. 25 Georgia (1-0), 4:45 p.m., ESPN: Gamecocks don’t often fare well in Georgia, but Lou Holtz’s miracle took root when upset of Bulldogs in Columbia, S.C., last season ended an 18-game Southeastern Conference losing streak. LINE: South Carolina by 2.

* * * * No. 17 Notre Dame (0-0) at No. 5 Nebraska (2-0), 5 p.m., 7, 3, 10, 42, CRN: Lincoln is at a fever pitch for Notre Dame’s first visit since 1948--and last season’s game was a thriller--Irish almost upset then-No. 1 Nebraska before losing in overtime, 27-24. LINE: Nebraska by 131/2.

* * No. 8 Tennessee (1-0) at Arkansas (1-0), 6 p.m., ESPN2: Last season’s score: Tennessee 63, Arkansas 20. And keep in mind Arkansas didn’t look as if it deserved to beat Nevada Las Vegas in opener. LINE: Tennessee by 13.

* * Boston College (1-0) at Stanford (1-0), 7 p.m., FSN: A rare meeting, anyway. The last time BC visited Stanford in 1979, John Elway was the Cardinal quarterback. LINE: Stanford by 51/2.

* Montana (1-0) at Hawaii (0-0), 9 p.m., FSN2: This is better as vacation fantasy than a football game: Go fly-fishing in Montana or lounge around the islands? LINE: No line.