At Schools, Subject Turns to Terror

Sharon Cole, barely out of college, had no idea how to help her high school students sort through the assassination of President Kennedy in 1963.

Today, Cole, who teaches at Capistrano Valley High School, feels secure in her ability to know what her students need, from hints about the meaning of Greek plays to discussions of topics that strike pain into their hearts. Nearing retirement, she has helped students face their fears through the Cold War, the Challenger shuttle explosion and the Oklahoma City bombing.

So while some teachers put off talk about Tuesday’s terrorism and tried to focus students on grammar and fractions, Cole knew that the teenagers--even the ones applying lip gloss and blithely tossing their hair-- needed to talk about the events 3,000 miles away.

She and countless other Southern California teachers wrestled Wednesday with balancing regular lesson plans and students’ concerns and curiosity about evil.

At Third Street Elementary School in Hancock Park, fifth-grade teacher Sandy Marks planned to devote five minutes of class time to the attacks. But his 27 students had so many questions that the discussion lasted about 40 minutes.

“They wanted to know what would happen next, mostly about possible retaliation,” Marks said.

At McPherson Magnet School in Orange, eighth-grade history and English teacher Jay Turner said it’s been a struggle to return to the routine.

“It’s a solemn mood on campus. Kids aren’t smiling and joking around. Everybody is somewhere else--even the staff.”

He described students as “devastated,” some red-eyed from crying and many carrying newspapers to read about what happened.

Turner said he tried to help his students put the events in perspective, telling them: “This is one of those days that changes the world. . . . We have history in books, but today you’re living through history.”

In Cole’s class, the topics were fear and patriotism, security and freedom--and how these events will affect life in south Orange County.

On Monday, the day before the attacks, Cole had asked students to identify their most important values from a list. Freedom was not a popular selection.

Cole decided to try repeating the exercise Wednesday. This time, almost every student chose freedom as a top-rated value.

In this, Cole said, her students now are exactly like her students in 1963, back in La Habra.

“I see patriotism coming out,” she said. “We are drawing together as a country.”

Cole used the classroom discussions Wednesday for everything from comforting students with a gentle pat to challenging them to think about their own prejudices and weigh questions of freedom versus security, revenge versus violence.

One student, tears in his eyes, sank his head into his hands, saying his aunt worked in one of the towers of the World Trade Center and has not been heard from.

“Oh,” said Cole, pushing past desks to put her hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“I told them that every generation has something that will stand in their minds forever,” she said. “In my generation, we say, ‘What were you doing when Kennedy was assassinated.’ This will be theirs.”

One Muslim student felt comfortable enough to tell her classmates how much it hurt to hear the condemnations against all Muslims that followed the attack.

“Being a Muslim, I don’t like people condemning the Muslim community for no reason,” said Lina Mayada Al-Agha, 17. Lina added that her mother is terrified someone will try to hurt her family. Cole used Lina’s comments for a short lecture on prejudice.

“I hope all of you, if you see such generalizations, will have the courage to say, ‘Wait a minute, this is not fair,’ ” the teacher said.

Cole’s teaching career will be drawing to a close in a couple of years. The Laguna Niguel resident’s husband already has retired from his teaching job and embarked on a new career, and her daughter is grown. But Cole’s affection and passion for the classroom have grown.

After some students in her class approved a classmate’s call for the use of nuclear weapons on “them,” Cole asked students to think about the implications of such an act.

Would bombing a city in another country be any different from what terrorists did to the World Trade Center?

“In our minds, because we’re so angry, a lot of us want to go bomb the whole country,” said sophomore Lauren O’Hara, adding that friends of her parents had known Lisa Frost, an Orange County woman on one of the hijacked planes.

Cole also asked students how this event would change their lives and what kind of changes they would support.

“How much freedom are you willing to give up to be safe?” Cole asked the class.

Some students looked horrified, while others said they wouldn’t mind seeing armed guards on airplanes, in malls and at sports events.

“They will have stricter laws now,” said sophomore Jessie Eckhardt “You won’t be able to just go places.”

Eventually, Cole turned the conversation back to English. One class is reading the Greek tragedy “Antigone,” in which the title character must choose between duty to family and duty to state. It’s a play that Cole thinks her students will find especially meaningful this year.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

How to Tell the Children

Mental health experts recommend the following in talking to children about the disasters:

* Limit the amount of time children are exposed to media coverage. If children have watched footage, talk to them about it in terms they can understand, such as, “Some very bad people did some very bad things.”

* Tell children that schools are safe places. What happened in New York and Washington was not aimed at schools or children.

* Look for signs that a child is traumatized, such as changes in behavior or poor school performance.

* Encourage children to talk about what they have heard and seen. An event like this and its effect on you should not be minimized. Not talking about it won’t mean that it will go away, nor will avoiding the subject protect your child from any concerns he or she may have. Some children may need to express their fears through drawing, playing with toys or other nonverbal means. Let them ask questions and help dispel misperceptions. If you do not know an answer, say “I don’t know.”

* Let your own feelings show. The mixed feelings you may be experiencing--anger, sorrow, mourning--are likely being felt by your child too. It’s OK for your child to see you express them. Help your child understand feelings by naming them, such as “I’m so upset about what happened in New York . . .”

* Remain in control. It may seem that everything is out of control and there’s bound to be a lot of fear and anxiety around. Anxiety is contagious, particularly for young children. It will be helpful for your child to see that your world, and theirs, is not in chaos. Try to restore regular daily routines. Let children be around their peers.

* Make sure children get appropriate sleep, exercise and nutrition.

* Suggest ways children can help, i.e.: Consider making get well cards for families and survivors. Consider praying or going to a house of worship together.

* Do not speculate about the causes. Tell children not to jump to conclusions about who was responsible for the attacks. Avoid stereotyping, and do not assume it is the fault of a single ethnic or religious group.

* Spend time playing games or reading with children. Some families find meditating, or otherwise spending time together to be particularly comforting. Tuck them in at night. Tell them you love them. Let them know they are secure, and so are their loved ones.