LAUGH LINES

Baby Boom Needed: “Russia is asking its citizens to have more children. It seems the population is dropping below zero population growth in Russia, and they say they need to have more babies. In fact, they say if the trend doesn’t change in the next few years, they may have to start their own NBA franchise.” (Jay Leno)

Proceed With Caution: “Drivers are getting too distracted. [They] are just paying too much attention to cell phones, navigational systems and TVs ....No wonder the AAA is worried. This really cuts into the usual distractions of eating, grooming--and swearing at Rush Limbaugh.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Taking a Timeout: “There was a “huge feature story in USA Today about women taking what they call ‘marriage sabbaticals.’ Did you hear about this? It seems that once women turn 40, these women leave their husbands and their families for a month to get in touch with their inner needs. But how come when guys do it, it’s called an affair?” (Leno)

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