‘Hitched’: Satirical Jabs at Marriage

“Hitched,” an original comedy-thriller from USA Network satirizing modern marriage, works as mild diversion but you might have a hard time staying committed.

Newlyweds Ted (Anthony Michael Hall), a luggage salesman, and Eve (Sheryl Lee Diamond), his “old-fashioned girl” of a wife, have different ideas of matrimony. When Ted’s in a car crash on a night he was supposedly working late, Eve darts to the hospital only to discover he wasn’t alone.

That’s when she hatches a plan to make him pay for his behavior, apparently until death do they part. When Eve chains Ted to a post in the basement, the story takes on (lighter) shades of Stephen King’s “Misery.”

To cover her tracks, Eve reports Ted missing--to a maladroit but cuddly police detective (Alex Carter).As the case unfolds, might true love bloom?

Walking a fine line, writer-director Wesley Strick tries to up the tension while mixing in campy humor. The fine cast helps: Hall, once a geeky teen in such movies as “Sixteen Candles,” now has a Rick Schroder look and a likably devilish swagger; Diamond, best known as Laura Palmer on “Twin Peaks,” is equal parts sweetness and ice.

Strick’s humor sometimes works: “Let’s see how you like being a POW--prisoner of wedlock.” Sometimes not quite: When Eve drives past a bank labeled “Fidelity Mutual,” she breaks down in tears when a simple scowl or roll of the eyes might have sufficed.

Meanwhile, Strick’s plot twists provide a couple of genuine jolts. But the final turn is jarring mainly in the way it strains credibility.

“Hitched” can be seen at tonight at 9 on USA. The network has rated it TV-14D (may be unsuitable for children younger than 14 with special advisories for suggestive dialogue).

Surf Report

MOVIES

Kevin Costner and Kevin Kline play cowboys battling a crooked sheriff (Brian Dennehy) in “Silverado” (6:15 p.m. HBO).

SPECIALS

“A History of the Future” (9 p.m. KCET) takes a look at the world 20 years from now, focusing on the effect of technology around the globe.

Edward Herrmann hosts “4x4,” the first episode of “Ultimate Autos Week” (9 p.m. History Channel), which continues through Friday.

SPORTS

The Padres visit the Dodgers (7 p.m. Fox Sports Net 2), and the Angels travel to Seattle to face the division leading Mariners (7 p.m. KCAL).

SERIES

Academy Award-winning actor Al Pacino is profiled on “Biography” (8 p.m. A&E;).