Have the Terrorists Already Won?

In the days after a pack of terrorists blasted a hole through the heart and soul of America, I wrote out my last will and testament. I am young, active and very healthy, yet suddenly I felt the need to take care of these kind of things just in case something terrible happens to me in the coming days or weeks.

Does this mean the terrorists have already won?

If someone had asked me Sept. 10 whether I thought I would be alive next year at this time, I would have responded with an unequivocal “Yes.” If someone asked me that question today, I would cautiously say, “I hope so.”

Does this mean the terrorists have already won?

Instead of going to the gym or the movies or taking our dogs on a walk on my day off, I spent two hours on the Internet researching the effects of anthrax, smallpox and other chemical and biological weapons of warfare.

Does this mean the terrorists have already won?

Last weekend, I met my mom at our neighborhood Costco for our monthly shopping trip. Typically, we fill our carts with items like cheese and potatoes and coffee and sour cream, but this time we, like hundreds of other shoppers in that store, loaded our carts with boxes of bottled water just in case Los Angeles is attacked in the coming days or weeks.

Does this mean the terrorists have already won?

Soon, I will be entering the job market and had been researching which law firms to apply to. I had been evaluating the firms’ reputations, the type work they did, etc. But after the horrific events of Sept. 11, I now question their location. Should I apply to large firms housed in tall, prominent buildings? Would I would be safer at a smaller firm?

Does this mean the terrorists have already won?

One recent night, I poured myself a glass of wine and, after taking a sip, I thought: “What if this is the last time I ever taste wine?”

Does this mean the terrorists have already won?

On Monday morning, while driving to work along the 405 Freeway, I saw a group of kids on an overpass proudly waving American flags at all the motorists as they sped by. Like the other motorists, I honked loudly as I drove by, then quietly cried because I suddenly knew the answer to my terrible question: The terrorists will never win.

They may have filled the hole in our hearts with unspeakable sadness and grief, and temporarily undermined our sense of safety and security. But a terrorist can never destroy the strength, unity, courage and pride that will forever define the American spirit.