Sideline Coverage Has Always Been Skimpy

When I read the USA Today headline the other day: “Reporter’s risque poses raise questions,” I looked quickly, of course, to see if there was any mention of Adande, Plaschke or Pucin. You have to admit, each one of them is not opposed to flashing a little talent once in a while, if you know what I mean.

But right away the story began, “Jill Arrington, previously criticized for wearing skimpy outfits as a college football sideline reporter on CBS, has taken it to a new level with a sexually oriented magazine photo layout.”

Everyone knows you can’t believe everything you read in the newspaper, so I had to see for myself if she’s taken it to a new level. I took the company credit card, purchased the sexually oriented magazine and spent the evening studying Arrington’s photo layout.

I have to tell you--my daughters dress more risque on occasions, so you can imagine my disappointment. I’ve even tried to scare my daughters: “You keep dressing like that, girls, and some day you’re going to grow up and work for Fox.”

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THERE WERE three pictures of Arrington in something called, “FHM,” which also featured six provocative photos of Anna Kournikova looking like the best tennis player I’ve ever seen. In striking contrast, Arrington appeared like a young woman about to take in a Dodger game, sunning herself in the left-field pavilion. And yet USA Today TV columnist Rudy Martzke and ESPN’s Robin Roberts carried on like Gypsy Rose Lee was going to be walking the CBS sidelines this season.

They said a journalist should not act like that, which was news to me. I had no idea CBS had hired a journalist when they went looking for a sideline reporter. I had been under the impression the rule of thumb for most TV networks was to hire a real babe to catch the fancy of fans and players alike.

I can’t say for a fact NBC or CBS or ABC hasn’t made a run at Barbara Walters or Greta Van Susteren to work the sideline, but looking at every one of their sideline reporters they all seem to have the same credentials: Good looks. In fact I fear one day we’re going to hear about a solid journalist caught flat-footed and trampled by athletes trying to make themselves available for Lisa Guerrero.

I imagine the networks would like to find a good-looking journalist. But like Barker’s Beauties on “The Price is Right,” the first order of business is to hire someone who can just point to the “Refrigerator” and smile. And that’s fine.

I can’t remember the last memorable thing said by player or coach to anyone holding a microphone on the sideline, so why waste a good journalist when we can put a real babe to work? You want to see more of Jim Gray or Melissa Stark?

Now if these young women feel the need to certify themselves as real (sports) babes by appearing in sexually oriented magazines every so often, then I can write the magazines off as business expenses.

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I WAS told there was another sexually oriented magazine featuring a photo layout of Fox’s female sports broadcasters. There was no mention, however, of the women’s names on the cover of any of the 13 or 14 sexually oriented magazines I bought with the company credit card. But when I got to “Maxim,” and read the cover teases: “Unleash Her Inner Nympho,” and “Super Bowl Winner Revealed,” I felt I was getting real warm.

I found Guerrero on page 162 looking right back at me, like she really couldn’t wait to give me her Super Bowl pick, and I guess in her excitement she forgot to put the rest of her clothes on. I also came across Fox’s Sunday NFL ornament, Jill Barberie, obviously down on her luck, because there were holes everywhere in her pants, and further revealing shots of Fox’s Leeann Tweeden and Rebecca Grant.

Looking at the four women, it was clear to me that Fox doesn’t provide much of a clothing allowance for its female broadcasters.

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I HAVEN’T even mentioned Lisa Dergen, a former Playboy centerfold, who reports on golf for Fox. I ran into her recently, and she was telling me how she likes to play golf with Tiger Woods.

I’m sure Tiger is real impressed with her work as a journalist, which makes me wonder what he thinks of Thomas Bonk and Mike James, who have covered golf for The Times, but never played golf with him.

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TOM LASORDA introduced me to a friend of his, Sister Theresa Reis, before Tuesday’s Dodger game. I told Lasorda it’d be a miracle if I could get the good sister’s name in the same column with Guerrero and her half-dressed friends.

“I’ll be reading,” Sister Theresa said. I’d guess, not by this point, though.

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UCLA IS going to remove the media from courtside this basketball season, and sell those 44 seats for $10,000 each to season-ticket holders. This is different from USC’s policy of charging $10,000 for the chance to interview AD Mike Garrett.

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A Newhall Signal female reporter with no sports background raised the ire of the Dodgers after writing about her experiences of covering a game and meeting Shawn Green in the clubhouse fresh out of the shower. Green asked what I thought of her story, and I said I blamed the woman’s editors for not exercising better judgment.

“So you must have the same editors then,” Green said with a smirk.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Mike Karger:

“I sure hope your neighbors Tom & Aida follow the law by disclosing all known defects to potential buyers by informing them you live nearby.”

Let me just say--this probably isn’t a good time to be a USC fan, and looking to buy a new home in Orange County.

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com