Big Bear Masquerade Spreads a Little Fear but It Doesn’t Fool Anybody

Joseph Young of L.A. read in the Big Bear Grizzly’s Sheriff’s Log that someone had contacted authorities about “three males with fake beards and fake mustaches in a room next to him and his family.” An investigation found that the “three middle-aged men [were] attempting to see if one of the wives was cheating on them.”

Something’s coloring their attitude: With the strike deadline nearing, I sneaked out to the Dodgers’ day game Thursday (though I forgot my fake beard and mustache). I couldn’t help observing the huge THINK BLUE sign on the hillside next to the stadium. Think blue? But why, when the players and owners are thinking green.

More mixed signals: Stan Martin of Huntington Beach found a joint in Balboa that won’t kowtow to customers (see photo).

Unreal estate: Bob Bacon of West Covina spotted a real estate listing that candidly promised some suffering--probably, Bacon surmised, “when the buyer gets that first mortgage bill” (see accompanying).

New definition of fast food? A counselor in the L.A. Unified School District, Jordan Austin, noticed a lunch menu with an erroneous title (see photo).

Wrong place at the wrong time: The Los Alamitos News-Enterprise’s police log reported that a driver “damaged a wrought-iron gate trying to drive out” of a cemetery after he “got locked inside.”

I bet Laker fans would warm to this: The idea of naming a street or part of Staples Center after Chick Hearn, the Lakers’ late broadcaster, is commendable. But Alan Oda, a contributor to Don Barrett’s laradio.com Web site, suggested that the best tribute would be to preserve one of Hearn’s traditions.

That is, when the Lakers have clinched a victory, the team’s radio station, KLAC (570), would cue up a tape of Hearn’s trademark announcement: “This game’s in the refrigerator! The eggs are cooling

The silent minority: On his Web site, Barrett has been asking local radio personalities to recall their most grueling jobs.

Mark Wallengren of KOST (103.5) wrote that he started out as an overnight DJ at a country music station in little Preston, Idaho. Once, he was reading the turkey and cattle futures report when the phone rang. He couldn’t answer it, because he was alone in the “Quonset hut” of a studio.

It rang for the entire seven-minute report. “I could hear the brrrrrr bleeding through on the air,” he said. When he finally picked it up, the caller hung up.

“I screamed every awful word I knew,” Wallengren said, not noticing his mike was open. He figured his career was over, since he had “done the George Carlin ‘Seven Dirty Words’ routine live on air.” He wondered “how much the FCC would fine me and how long my jail time would be.” He waited for the protests. But his phone never rang.

“Not one person must have been listening,” he said. “My turkey and cattle futures report had saved me.”

miscelLAny: Responding to the pledge drive of radio station KCRW (89.9), I forked over $50 because I also received a certificate for two hot dogs and assorted goodies from the landmark Pink’s stand. The certificate won’t enable me to break Orson Welles’ record for hot-dog consumption at Pink’s. He wolfed down 18 at one sitting.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 w. 1st St., L.A. 90012, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.