When Chargers Move Here, It Won’t Be Pretty
The new neighbors are moving in, and since they have a rug rat, we were kind enough to throw up chicken wire along the fence to prevent our dog Ralphie, who loves chew toys, from running off with one of the toddler’s arms.
At the very most now the kid is only going to be able to put a finger or two through the fence, which should leave at least eight good fingers and the hard-learned lesson to never do that again. I sure hope if the kid grows up to be a Trojan fan, it’s not those two fingers.
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TOM & AIDA never really appreciated the effort we had to put in to be their neighbors before they moved, but then we never had to call the cops on them or buy World Famous Chocolate Bars from their kids, so it could have been worse.
That’s the fear now, of course, that a hockey fan or someone really weird like a bowler has moved next door, intent on talking sports all the time. In fact, I found myself shopping with the wife at Fashion Island last weekend to avoid bumping into the new neighbors, and I don’t think it’s right that someone should be punished just because they’d like to live in peace and quiet.
It had been a while since I’d been to a mall, too, and I couldn’t believe the number of people who were walking their dogs, which got me to thinking about the Chargers, of course. Well, that’s how I explained it to the wife when I told her I had to leave, drive to San Diego and check to see if they had broken free from their leash, uh, lease. (If she knew the new neighbors better, she probably could have called them for a ride home instead of having to hitchhike).
Now everyone knows by now that the Chargers are going to be our team in two, maybe three years at the most. Beginning on Sunday they had 60 days to trigger an escape clause in their Qualcomm Stadium lease, and while the NFL wants them to wait until after the Super Bowl on Jan. 26 to officially put the city of San Diego on notice, I’m hearing talk an announcement might come as soon as this week.
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THE CHARGERS are owned by the Spanos Goofs, a Stockton father-son tag team with all the fumble-bum qualifications you’d expect from NFL owners following in the footsteps of Georgia Frontiere and Al Davis. In fact, a ticket guarantee that has had the city of San Diego spending almost $30 million on unsold seats -- including money for seats the city recently discovered do not exist -- has the feel of something engineered by Davis.
Now I began covering and documenting the Goofs’ Sterling-like reign of mediocrity -- 127 wins and 172 losses to date -- for the San Diego Union in 1986, later moving on to The Times, and I pretty much deal with them now much as I do Georgia & Al. Whenever we see each other we make ugly faces. You’re way ahead of me, but yes, Georgia has a definite advantage on all of us.
On Sunday I positioned myself outside the Goofs’ luxury box in Qualcomm Stadium, and when Dean Spanos, the son, walked by, we made grumpy faces at each other. My experience in doing TV on a show that no one watches where I’m asked to shake my head in disgust when the scoring goes against me has really been a blessing when it comes to facing off with the Goofs.
It’s hard to throw an ugly face at Alex Spanos, the father, however, because ever since he was booed unmercifully after being introduced to the hometown crowd on “Dan Fouts Day” in 1988, he walks around with his eyes to the ground as if he’s embarrassed to be recognized. I gave it a good try, though.
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NOW I wouldn’t have anything against the Chargers if they came to L.A. and left the Goofs behind, but that’s not how it’s going to happen.
With that in mind I sat down Sunday to experience a Charger game and get a feel again for what it’s going to be like when they come here. I began with a $5 program, Pages 4 to 6 detailing all of Alex Spanos’ accomplishments and donations to charity, and then Pages 42 and 43 dedicated to Alex Spanos’ book, including this quote from his mother: “Do something good and then throw it in the ocean. Don’t brag about it.”
On Page 90 the bragging continued with Spanos’ picture, and this caption: “Alex Spanos is one of San Diego’s most generous philanthropists.”
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DOWN ON the field the NFL game, as it is played today, is still great theater. By the way, it’s just as exciting on TV.
The Broncos and Chargers put on a thrilling show, San Diego sending a crowd of more than 66,000 into a frenzy with a successful kick to win, 30-27. Right now the folks in San Diego love their Chargers.
This week the first-place Chargers will be playing the Raiders, and if the team triggers the escape clause in the next few weeks you can bet it will be done to rally the excited fans behind them into pressuring the city to be more responsive to their demands.
The Chargers have offered to drop the ticket guarantee in exchange for staying in San Diego through 2004 -- with the proviso that they can leave free of litigation and financial responsibilities after 2004, and hello, Los Angeles. San Diego officials have refused to discuss the offer with the team.
Although it means making ugly faces at the Goofs again, I’m hoping San Diego continues to turn its back on the Chargers, and they leave to come here. I have a feeling I’m going to need a place to go every Sunday to avoid the neighbors -- especially after Ralphie gets done munching on their toddler.
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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Jay Barasch:
“You predicted UCLA and Notre Dame would derail the Trojans.... Your standard procedure when your predictions of doom for USC fail, is to move on to the next game and start your campaign that (so-and-so) will be the one to expose the Trojans as frauds. If you admit you’re wrong, maybe Trojan fans will apologize to you.... “
I guess it all comes down to who is the real so-and-so here.
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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com