They Came, They Saw, They Hit Reset

INVITED TO: “Xbox Live Takes on Hollywood,” a launch party for the online version of Microsoft’s interactive Xbox video game platform, at “Peek” (a.k.a. the Sunset Room).

ODE DE JOYSTICK: “I’m about to get busy,” says Donald Faison of “Scrubs,” ready to take on ToeJam & Earl III: Mission to Earth, one of many new games accessible through Microsoft’s online game platform, Xbox Live. Tonight’s plan of attack in the megacorp’s foray into the online game market--get celebrities to play with your product, add food plus drinks, and mix--has its moments. “How do you punt? How do you punt?” wails Samuel L. Jackson, unsuccessful at moving the virtual ball on Sega Sports’ NFL 2K3, though he vows to practice more. “I’m gonna get the online game thing going at home,” he says. “My high-speed connection is happening this week.” Around the party space, video monitors display fish-eye views of headset-wearing players, viz. party guests, cavorting at terminals hooked up to the Internet. “Smile, your face might be on screen,” read the posted signs--not that it’s any big whoop to the already televised. “I came for the free games. I have all three platforms [that would be PlayStation 2, GameCube and Xbox],” says actor-comedian David Alan Grier, obviously versed in video-game speak. “If I were inventing a game, it would be called Hockey Fight--just two guys with their hands on each other’s jerseys punching until their heads blow up.”

XX VS. XBOX: “I like old games,” admits an underwhelmed Tori Spelling. “I like Frogger. I like Ms. Pac-Man. I like Donkey Kong. I am not a fan of the new eat ‘em up, kill ‘em, atomic bomb games.” Indeed, a Y chromosome seems as much of a prerequisite for the night’s revels as a quick trigger finger. “American Pie’s” Shannon Elizabeth begs off. “I can’t get to the games, but he will,” she says, referring to her husband, actor Joseph D. Reitman. Come to think of it, what’s the point of throwing a party just to have people interact via the Internet? “It’s something to do instead of just standing around. At least you get to check out some of these games,” offers “That ‘70s Show” dad Kurtwood Smith, striking a pose in black leather jacket and black jeans. Maybe that’s true for the code writers here, but who’d think a celeb’s social problems could be so acute? Certainly, Smith’s close-knit cast-mates, who, as usual, have arrived en masse, have no such concerns. “Dude, DJ AM is playing. I got to go dance,” says co-star Laura Prepon, joined by Ashton Kutcher, Wilmer Valderrama and Danny Masterson. “We’re all going to dance.”

Celeb Quotient: **

Not a washout, but no bonus points either.

Wow Factor: **

Swankier than a video arcade--and you don’t need tokens.

Grazing Level: **

Apple martinis and ahi hors d’oeuvres score well, while roast beef, baked salmon and pasta buffet barely surpasses novice level.

Rating Scale:

1=ho-hum 4-yowza