Some Golf Courses Have Doglegs; This One Has the Whole Canine

Who says golfers don’t get any exercise? Columnist Steve Propes of Long Beach’s Beachcomber reports that a call was made to animal control authorities about a German shepherd “chasing golfers” on one course.

*

Bottoms up! When I was a school kid -- a wiseacre school kid -- I was swatted a few times by teachers. So I shivered involuntarily when I received a clipping from Marian Shaw of Oxnard about what sounded like a group disciplinary session at a local school (see accompanying).

*

No frequent-flier miles needed: David Greenstate spotted a free trip offer that you might not want to take right away (see photo).

*

Changing the subject from heaven to ... the other place, at least judging from the temperature reading, as snapped by Ed Carter of Culver City (see photo).

*

Him Tarzan: I read in the San Francisco Examiner that among those who attended a book signing by Johnny Weissmuller Jr. was a man who brought a loincloth signed by the entire cast of a “Tarzan” movie.

The visitor told the author of “Tarzan, My Father” that he wanted the loincloth appraised. Someone else offered to channel the late actor’s spirit for a million dollars. Would it have been less just to channel Tarzan’s yell?

*

The Lord of the Jungle (cont.): As it happens, I’m privileged to say I actually heard Weissmuller’s cry in person. A quarter of a century ago, I covered a reunion of movie Tarzans on the 100th anniversary of creator Edgar Rice Burroughs’ birth.

The good-natured Weissmuller, then about 70, was asked to render the yell several times by TV and radio folks and me (I was trying to figure out how to spell it). He was hoarse by the time he left.

Three Janes also showed up, but there were no Cheetahs, which was fine with another ex-Tarzan, Buster Crabbe.

The one he used to work with “bit me all the time,” said Crabbe. “I’d whomp him back on the head, but it didn’t bother him at all.”

Crabbe called the chimp a vulgar name. He obviously wasn’t a true ape man.

*

A Modern Crime reader, perhaps? The L.A. Independent’s crime log said that “a woman reported that a thief used her identity to obtain a magazine subscription.”

*

miscelLAny: There’s one club in a golfer’s arsenal that’s called a mashie. But I heard a KNX-AM (1070) radio advisory about some instant mashies -- two sets of clubs dropped on the 133 freeway in Irvine. Maybe the owners were still being chased by that German shepherd.

*

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.