To enjoy France, say au revoir to those American stereotypes

Travel tests stereotypes we hold about other people. This is especially true when Americans go to France, with its proud history, culture and traditions. Some lap it up, but others return home horrified and hurt by what they perceive as the rudeness, deviousness and hypocrisy of the French.

At the same time, exposure to tourists from the U.S. often confirms the French assessment of Americans as self-indulgent, tactless and simple-minded.

Few people better understand the way true and false cliches come into play when Americans visit France than Diane Johnson, author of “Le Divorce” (Dutton, 1997) and “Le Mariage” (Dutton, 2000). (A movie version of “Le Divorce” is due out next year. Johnson’s next novel, also set in France, is expected at the end of 2003.)

These deliciously funny novels about how the two cultures butt heads in the streets, patisseries, cafes and bedrooms of Paris are the products of Johnson’s close observation. She’s a San Franciscan who has lived part time in the City of Light for the last seven years.

I recently talked with Johnson by telephone. Here are some of the highlights of our tete-a-tete:

Question: Why do Americans love France?

Answer: We’re taught that it is the perfect America, without puritanism. The food is great. Luxury and beauty are valued.

Q. How did you find it when you first went?

A. It was 1980, and my husband [John Murray, a professor of medicine] wanted to take a sabbatical someplace where he had to learn a new language. I didn’t speak a word of French until the end of the year. But I had a positive experience and completely blamed myself for not speaking the language.

Q. How did the French treat you?

A. Everyone was nice. Now, most Americans find the French much nicer than they expected. And people who started going there in the ‘50s say they are nicer. They have gotten better, maybe because of prosperity, television, travel. The French go everywhere. When they visit America they are prepared to find things charming and picturesque that seem gross to us. They think Las Vegas is fabulous, though they wouldn’t want it in France.

We once lent our house in Tahoe to French friends. Afterward, we saw in the refrigerator what they’d been eating: Wonder bread. Can you believe it? They were trying to eat the local bread.

Q. So perhaps some of the common cliches we hold about the French aren’t true?

A. Well, the French are not at all hedonistic; they’re almost puritanical about things like food, which they understand as an important part of life. You can’t just throw food on the table. It should be done well.

And there’s the myth people still believe about the lack of cleanliness in France, maybe from going to the toilet in a brasserie. Americans consider it a sign of the nation’s backwardness.

Q. What about the rudeness of the French? It seems the friendlier you are to them, the meaner they treat you.

A. They absolutely think we smile too much. It makes us seem simple and uncultivated. At the moment I start getting indignant over this, I hear an American in the Louvre saying something stupid like, “Oh, they have elevators here.”

Q. As a part-time expatriate, do you sympathize more with the French now?

A. Maybe I am getting compromised, but I have begun to see the advantages of some of their behavior.

Wouldn’t we love to know how they eat without getting fat? It isn’t bulimia. They eat fewer carbohydrates and smaller portions. When I order the same thing in the U.S., I get twice as much. I dread that huge heaping plate.

Q. Your novels are full of beautiful French women wearing cleverly tied scarves. Have you figured that out yet?

A. A French woman once showed me how to fold a scarf, but you’d have to be an origami expert to do it right.

Q. With their scarves and high heels, are French women oppressed?

A. I believe they haven’t needed feminism per se. They have a much higher, less problematic status than American women. It’s normal for them to work. French men are interested in what they do, in things like cooking and clothes.

Q. Don’t the French play around a lot?

A. French women say French men are horrible cads, but they have a more relaxed philosophy about adultery. There’s also more toleration of flirting.

If an American man said to a female colleague, “You’re looking pretty today,” it would be taken amiss.

Q. In “Le Divorce” the narrator says Americans abroad have a “slightly toxic chemistry.” Where does it come from?

A. A certain rigidity is involved that makes people have trouble in France. You have to be prepared to give up some of your cultural expectations and accept things on their own terms.

Q. Do you have any tips for travelers to France?

A. Be more polite than usual. Even little things like saying “please” and “thank you” smooth the way. Don’t just walk into a store, look around and leave. Say bonjour and au revoir.

Q. Is there anything about France you just can’t stomach?

A. I never order andouille [sausage made of pig intestines]. At first I tried to be a good sport about eating it but eventually realized that it wasn’t going to happen.