A charity called ‘me, me, me’

I read with sadness your article “A Donation? ... Gee ... Thanks” (by Bettijane Levine, Dec. 17), regarding people who were offended that friends gave a charitable donation in their name instead of a gift. Most telling was the number of times the words “me,” “we” and “us” were used by the offended recipients.

Of course, one should not automatically donate to just any charity when giving a charitable donation as a gift; rather it should be to a charity that the recipient normally gives to. But I suppose that only works if the recipient is truly interested in the charity as opposed to the tax deduction that it offers them.

Kelly A. Dunnahoo

Saugus

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WITH regard to the Thousand Oaks hostess who was “offended” because one couple at her 60-guest holiday bash didn’t bring her a present, I can only fall back on the words of Miss Manners: “Contrary to general belief, present giving is never required. You must pretend that you invite people because you want to celebrate important occasions with them.”

To act as if presents are standard payment, she writes, “is rude-rude-rude.”

Perhaps The Times could begin running Miss Manners’ column. It appears that there are some who could benefit from her gentle reminders.

Kathy Leslie

Newbury Park

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THE shallow pettiness of the people in the article disgusts me. I would rather have the sick and poor benefit than receive silly Christmas gifts. After all, the Bible says Jesus spent a lot of time healing the sick and feeding the poor, but it never mentions him shopping for presents.

Suebob Davis

Thousand Oaks

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A thoughtful card reflecting the donor’s passionate interest in a cause is a gift -- a gift of expanding the thinking of the self-centered characters that this article portrays to include thinking about the world and the needs of people even beyond the suburbs of Thousand Oaks.

Sharona Justman

Los Angeles

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YEARS ago -- and for years -- a dear friend would skip sending the unneeded baskets of goodies, and in his Christmas card say that he was sending the money he would have spent on gifts to a Japanese woman who had faithfully brought him food when he was a prisoner of war. As she had kept him alive, so he was taking care of her for the rest of her life.

Nothing has ever meant as much to me as that gift.

Lois Willows

Beverly Hills

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Levine’s essay on giving poses a problem: How do you give a meaningful gift that is personal and still helps charities? Unfortunately, a solution wasn’t offered, but there is a solution, based right here in the L.A. area. The nonprofit Charity Checks offers Giving Certificates that allow you to “give the joy of giving” to someone else -- who then picks the charity that benefits.

When you give someone a Giving Certificate, any of the more than 800,000 charities in the United States can benefit.

Instead of saying a “donation has been made in your name to my favorite cause,” you are showing that you care and respect the recipient’s passions and concerns. The recipient gets to mail in the check to the charity of choice.

Charity Checks are available online at www.charitychecks.us and via phone, (800) 854-5601.

Victor Dorff & Lisa Sonne

Co-founders

Agoura