GOP’s Star Search Yields Agriculture Secretary

Gentlemen, start your tape recorders: Here at last is the speakers’ lineup for the California Republican Party’s convention in San Jose.

Among the star turns, from Friday’s lunch to the rousing Sunday send-off speech, are two White House deputy assistants; lame-duck House Majority Leader Dick Armey (R-Texas); the top guy at the Republican National Committee, Mark Racicot, and his right-hand woman, Ann Wagner; and as the headliner, ladies and gentlemen, direct from the Cabinet Room in Washington, D.C. ... Agriculture Secretary Ann Veneman!

Veneman won’t be coming to alien corn--she’s more like coals to Newcastle, or raisins to Fresno. Veneman is the daughter of a Modesto peach farmer and popular former state assemblyman. Since Sept. 11, even agriculture has been drawn into the terrorism loop; there is more official urgency about food safety than at any time since the E. coli fast-food burger deaths in the 1990s. (Worth noting: About twice as many Americans die from food-borne diseases every year than were killed on Sept. 11.)

Foes Needle Capps Over Tattoo-Removal Project

Who knew that a program for taking off tattoos would put the mark of Cain on a congresswoman’s forehead?

There are 435 members of the House of Representatives, and among the 7,000-plus checks made out to their bring-home-the-pork projects in fiscal 2002 was a fairly modest $50,000 to Democratic Rep. Lois Capps’ Santa Barbara district, which she’s represented since its previous occupant, her husband, Walter, died in 1997.

The money was for a project in San Luis Obispo County to remove tattoos from ex-gangbangers in the belief that cleaning up their skin will help them clean up their lives.

The local sheriff was for it. So was the probation department. Tattoo removal has been part of mainstreaming California gang members for at least a dozen years, from Orange County to San Francisco.

But the news got under the skin of the conservative Heritage Foundation, and from there it was a short radio wave to Rush Limbaugh, who ridiculed the program. So did the Cleveland Plain Dealer newspaper, railing that “you will be paying to cover up skin-deep stupidities in Capps’ home county.” Soon piling on were Fox News and the Daily Oklahoman. The Baltimore Sun led an article on pork-barrel spending with the tattoo-take-off money.

Capps’ seat had been targeted for a take-back by Republicans anxious to fatten up their 11-seat majority in Congress. Redistricting gave Capps an air-bag cushion of more Democrats, but the GOP still hopes she’ll get tripped up on tax cuts. Capps, along with Democratic Sen. Dianne Feinstein and Rep. Ellen O. Tauscher of Alamo, voted for the Bush 10-year tax cut, but then said Congress should at least consider delaying it if the federal deficit gets any redder.

Californians Make List of Richest Lawmakers

There are two ZIP Codes in America--20515 and 20510--that are just about eviction-proof and recession-proof, and they’re both on Capitol Hill.

Only a few senators and representatives up for reelection have a real risk of being voted out (attention Gary Condit), and all 535 lawmakers got a 3.4% pay raise, boosting their annual salary by $4,900 a year to $150,000.

Not all of them need the dough, though. Eight Californians appear on a list of the 50 richest lawmakers published by the Capitol Hill newspaper Roll Call.

Ranking sixth, just behind a Rockefeller, is Rep. Jane Harman, the Venice Democrat whose holdings, including her husband Sidney’s stereo fortune (Harman Kardon), total about $105 million. Right behind her is Vista Republican Rep. Darrell E. Issa, another noise-making multimillionaire with $60 million, chiefly from his car-alarm company.

Sen. Dianne Feinstein, whose husband is a high-profile financier, with about $50 million is tied for eighth with Sacramento Republican Rep. Doug Ose.

Bringing up the still respectably well-off rear are 18th-place Rep. Gary G. Miller, a Diamond Bar Republican with $15 million ... San Francisco’s Rep. Nancy Pelosi, the newly elected Democratic whip, coming in 21st with $14 million ... Democratic Rep. Ellen O. Tauscher of Alamo in the 24th spot with $10million ... and Republican Rep. David Dreier of San Dimas, in 31st place with $8 million.

(California Democrats Feinstein and Barbara Boxer were both among the 65 senators voting not to block the pay increase, as Wisconsin Democrat Russell D. Feingold tried to do in December, arguing that a raise was a bad idea given that “our economy is in a recession and hundreds of thousands of workers have been laid off.”)

Who’s for Whom

Gray Davis: Gordon Spencer, a Republican and Merced County’s district attorney.

Bill Jones: California Farm Bureau Federation; the Lao American National Republican Party of USA.

Richard Riordan: California state Log Cabin Republicans, and (surprise!) Women for Riordan.

Points Taken

* “Bloody Baca” screamed the press release from L.A. County sheriff candidate John Stites about 13 homicides in the San Fernando Valley in January. He called on the incumbent sheriff to organize “a posse and a full-court press” in the Valley--which, hello, is chiefly the beat of the LAPD, not the sheriff.

* The California CoastKeeper Alliance’s first “Coastal Hero” award goes to Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante, hailing from that famous coastal town, Dinuba.

* All four Democrats running for state insurance commissioner lobbied for votes at the Orange County Democratic Convention in Anaheim, but the audience didn’t exactly stand and cheer when insurance consultant Bill Winslow declared boldly that the state should outlaw that newest unalienable right: using hand-held cell phones behind the wheel.

* Not so, says Gerald Parsky, the White House’s man in California, taking exception to this space: Bush did not all but ignore California in the 2000 campaign, but made at least a trip a month here. He also spent $12 million on California TV ads--$1 million for every point by which he lost the state to Al Gore.

* Using stacks of Oreos to demonstrate the multibillion-dollar disparities in federal spending, like military versus education, Ben Cohen, co-founder of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream, introduced L.A. politicos to his new Priorities! campaign for a fairer national budget.

* In Chicago, the dead used to vote, but in California, they endorse. Board of Equalization member Johan Klehs, who is running for state controller, touts on his Web site the endorsement of former board member Richard Nevins, who not only retired in 1985 but died in July at age 80 in a body-surfing accident.

You Can Quote Me

“I played Elian Gonzalez.”

--Guv candidate Riordan exhibited his singular sense of humor in chatting about TV movie roles with a pretty actress-model at a campaign event. Riordan, who has taken a few stage and small-screen roles and decided to stay with politics, played a hospital spokesman in the Elian movie.

*

Columnist Patt Morrison’s e-mail address is patt.morrison@ latimes.com. This week’s contributors include Nick Anderson, Mark Z. Barabak, Dan Morain and Jean O. Pasco.