New Name for Valley Breakaway City May Just Be All a Matter of Perspective

If the San Fernando Valley succeeds in breaking away from L.A., Ed Brand suggests that the new city be named: DOOWYLLOH.

Sort of a mouthful, I admit. But Brand asks, “Why waste a landmark?”

DOOWYLLOH is the way the HOLLYWOOD sign would read from the Valley side.

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Unclear on the concept: Tony LaHood of Irvine found an advertiser in the Verizon Yellow Pages who had done a curious takeoff on the “Got milk?” ads (see accompanying). The obvious question is how the deceased party would contact the funeral service, though I guess some of these new-fangled cell phones can do almost anything.

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Dead (cont.): I dialed the number several times over a period of days, but received only busy signals.

So I called a Verizon rep who checked and found the ad was placed by a legitimate advertiser but couldn’t offer any additional information.

The rep said that while the language of the ad “may not be in the best taste, it does not violate” any Verizon policies.

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More from our Halloween-in-February issue: Sal Lombardo snapped a shot of a different kind of one-stop-shopping opportunity (see photo).

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And this creepy item: LaHood, discoverer of the “Dead” listing, admittedly has an eye for the macabre. In a Manila newspaper, he came upon a laundry hamper with an interesting feature (see accompanying).

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Coming clean with the listeners: I was surprised when I heard Arnie Spanier of KXTA-AM (1150) announce that he had been named worst sports show host by the L.A. Times and the L.A. Daily News.

Then again, in the world of talk radio, I’m not sure whether it’s preferable to be ranked best or worst.

Spanier, though good-natured, is a motor-mouth who seems to be gargling as he speaks. (I swear I felt spray coming through my radio the other day.)

But should anyone doubt whether the show has public value, author Alan Eisenstock points out in his entertaining book “Sports Talk” that Spanier once vowed that if the Lakers won the NBA championship, he’d wash the cars of all the team’s fans.

The Lakers did, and Spanier put in three hours of work at a Studio City car wash.

No word on whether he’ll make a similar promise this year.

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Stupid pedaling tricks: I found myself creeping in my car behind a bicyclist who was in the middle of a narrow street and barely moving. He took no notice of me for several seconds.

The road hog’s problem? You guessed it: He was on a cell phone. Got brains?

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miscelLAny: Peter Bingley of Mission Viejo noticed a trinket that he thinks would be too heavy for even Shaquille O’Neal to wear (see accompanying).

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.