Call It ‘The Longest Meter’

“Mean Machine” transports to England “The Longest Yard,” one of Burt Reynolds and director Robert Aldrich’s most popular films, giving it a contemporary edge and a thicket of not always penetrable accents. It was a smart move on the part of “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” and “Snatch” producer Matthew Vaughn because Tracy Keenan Wynn’s script from Albert S. Ruddy’s original story is timeless and easily relocated.

“Mean Machine” may not be as stylish or engaging as the 1974 Aldrich film, but the material is so sure-fire, debuting feature director Barry Skolnick has no trouble socking it over, backed by a colorful cast headed by granite-jawed Vinnie Jones as Danny Meehan. Danny scaled the heights of soccer stardom only to plunge to the depths after being caught throwing a major international match. When Danny drunkenly assaults two officers trying to arrest him, he draws a three-year sentence to one of England’s most forbidding prisons. (The film was shot at Her Majesty’s Oxford Prison, a largely Victorian stone structure dating in part to the 11th century and inoperative only since 1997.)

Danny is instantly plunged into a cesspool of danger and intrigue. His fellow inmates not surprisingly regard him as a traitor to their beloved sport. And, as an elderly con, Doc (David Kelly), a staple figure of prison pictures, carefully points out in regard to the other prisoners, “You had it all. Everything they ever dreamed of. And then you threw it all away.” The question soon becomes whether Danny will repeat himself.

Of course, Danny’s presence is noticed by the prison’s governor (David Hemmings), a compulsive gambler who is thoroughly corrupt. He attempts to maneuver Danny into training the guards’ semi-professional soccer team, but Danny shrewdly avoids becoming a toady and successfully counters by offering to assemble a group of inmates as a practice team for the guards. This will shore up Danny’s status with the other inmates and lift their spirits as well. Naturally, Danny has his work cut out for him to whip into shape a team, called the Mean Machine, composed of guys who are suitably strong and fearless, but none too good at taking directions or seeing themselves as team players. Danny, however, prevails, only to discover that he’s fallen into a trap that he can escape only by risking tremendous personal sacrifice.

There’s no question “Mean Machine” will play better to those who’ve never seen “The Longest Yard.”

It’s also likely that those attuned to thick British working-class accents will find more clarity and possibly more humor as well. Jones, himself a former professional soccer star, has a powerful presence and is strongly focused; Hemmings is amusingly villainous; and many others make vivid impressions. “Mean Machine” may not have the resonance to linger in the memory affectionately as “The Longest Yard” does, but it plays well, with a fast pace and plenty of punch.

MPAA rating: R, for language and some violence. Times guidelines: Violence and language are standard for the genre and not exploitative in tone.

‘Mean Machine’

Vinnie Jones ... Danny Meehan

David Hemmings ... Governor

David Kelly ... Doc

Ralph Brown ... Chief Officer Burton

A Paramount Classics presentation of a Matthew Vaughn production in association with Ruddy/Morgan productions and Brad Grey Pictures. Director Barry Skolnick. Producer Matthew Vaughn. Executive producers Guy Ritchie, Albert S. Ruddy, Cynthia Pett-Dante. Screenplay by Charlie Fletcher and Chris Baker & Andrew Day; based on the film “The Longest Yard” screenplay by Tracy Keenan Wynn from a story by Ruddy. Cinematographer Alex Barber. Editors Eddie Hamilton, Dayn Williams. Music John Murphy. Costumes Stephanie Collie. Production designer Russell De Rozario. Art director Tom Wales. Set decorator Jenny Lawrence Smith. Running time: 1 hour, 39 minutes.

Playing at the Beverly Center Cineplex, 8520 Beverly Blvd., (800) 555-TELL; Westside Pavilion Cinemas, 10800 W. Pico Blvd., West Los Angeles, (310) 475-0202; and the University, Campus Drive across from UC Irvine, (949) 379-8811.