Programs Help Train Young Fathers in Parenthood and Cultural Heritage
At 17, Eric Cota was like a lot of guys his age, concerned mainly with hanging out late at night and flirting with girls in his Montebello neighborhood.
At 19, he is part of a brotherhood of a different sort. As the young father of a 2 1/2-year-old son, he is learning that the impetuosity of youth can hasten the responsibilities of adulthood.
Unlike members of previous generations of young men in his position, though, Cota has gotten help in his transition from imprudent teenager to caring father through the efforts of a parenting education and mentoring program called Con Los Padres. The state-funded program is geared to fathers between the ages of 16 to 25.
“It’s like having someone, a father figure, that’s never been there for me before,” said Cota of the men in the program who have become his role models. He was interviewed in the tidy house he shares with his mother and sister. Since his girlfriend Maribel, mother of little Eric Jose, lives next door, Cota, who works in construction, sees his son every day and can apply many of the lessons he’s learned.
Con Los Padres is one of dozens of programs established in California and the nation in recent years that focus on an often neglected factor in the teen pregnancy equation: the sexuality of young men and their importance in the development and well-being of their children.
Importance of Being Involved in Child’s Life
The programs’ wide-ranging goals include teaching young men the importance of being involved in their children’s lives; instruction about their rights and responsibilities such as child support, birth control, custody, visitation and paternity; even education and vocational training. Many programs are tailored to Latino, African American or other ethnic groups to enhance cultural identity. Their messages are being reinforced through billboard and media campaigns in California and other states, with eye-catching slogans in English and Spanish such as “Being a Dad Means Being There” and “Fatherhood Is Forever.’
“Our culture is finally starting to recognize, understand and appreciate fathers’ involvement [with their children],” said Roland Warren, president of the National Fatherhood Initiative, a Maryland-based nonprofit created to promote responsible fatherhood. The group’s latest project, called Doctor Dad, is aimed at helping teen fathers handle health care issues for their infants and toddlers.
Along with Con Los Padres, California is funding 24 other programs in one of the largest efforts to reach young men in schools, juvenile detention centers, sports programs, group homes and churches.
In the last four years, more than 30,000 young men have participated in the programs statewide. Some who have been in trouble with the law are referred to the programs by courts as a condition of probation. But many come voluntarily, hearing of the programs through word-of-mouth or advertising.
A state evaluation found that the programs seem to be working and that participants increased their knowledge about sex, birth control, pregnancy and California’s statutory rape laws. According to participants, their average age of first intercourse was 13 and fewer than half were using any birth control at the time when they first enrolled in the parenting classes.
One key to reaching young men, say Warren and other experts, is to emphasize jobs, academics, personal safety and other issues tailored to specific communities.
For example, at Con Los Padres, which is sponsored by Community and Mission Hospitals of Huntington Park and the Bienvenidos Family Services, young men get weekly lessons in Latino cultural heritage as well as fatherhood training as part of the 20-week program.
And in Long Beach, the Role of Men program’s “Proud Fathers of the Hood” is designed to cut the high infant mortality rate in that city’s African American community by targeting young men who are expectant fathers or have children under age 2.
“From the time a young lady says she’s pregnant, the response of the father can determine the health of the baby and mother,” said program supervisor David Hillman Jr. “We can talk to teen dads about what the three trimesters are and what to expect. And we can point out that they might not be able to play basketball or hang out with their buddies all the time anymore.”
The Role of Men offers inducements such as free diapers, baby clothing, even tickets to special events to continue in the program and attend prenatal doctor’s visits.
What He’s Learned Has Been Invaluable to Him
Lawayne Wilson, 22, was attracted by the offer of gift certificates to help his struggling family get by and has been with the program for two months. He and his girlfriend are the parents of 1-year-old Ahlik and Ahliyah, 6. Wilson said that although his own father was actively involved in his life, what he’s learned in the program has been invaluable.
“Like the correct way to discipline your kids and making sure you don’t come into conflict with your significant other while trying to raise the children,” said Wilson, who was hard-pressed to keep up with the energetic Ahlik during an interview at the program offices. “He’s into everything. He likes to watch and touch. He’s like a sponge, whereas Ahliyah likes to ask questions, to listen and to learn. That’s one of the things the program taught me: that being a good father is spending time with your children and finding out what they want to know.”
Programs such as Role of Men and Con Los Padres draw on an indisputable reality: Millions of young boys, rich and poor and of all ethnicities, are growing up in households with no one on which to pattern themselves as men and fathers.
A spate of legislation introduced last year in Congress sought to address the issue, including a House bill that would provide grants to public and nonprofit agencies to establish new fatherhood programs and media campaigns.
The congressional measures quoted government statistics that paint an alarming picture of the American family:
* Nearly 50% of all children born in the United States spend at least half of their childhood in families without full-time father figures.
* Children who are raised without their fathers account for 63% of youth suicides, 71% of pregnant teenagers, 90% of homeless and runaway children, 85% of behavioral disorders exhibited by children and 71% of high school dropouts.
* Forty percent of children who live in fatherless households in the United States have not seen their fathers in at least one year, and 50% of such children have never visited their fathers’ homes.
Trying to remedy some of those numbers is a key goal of the L.A. Fathers Collaborative, which includes Role of Men, Bienvenidos Family Services, the Los Angeles County Child Support Services Department and other agencies. Fatherhood programs in the collaborative receive federal, state and private funding as part of a special pilot project.
Building bridges to young fathers is especially important for the county’s child support agency, which is trying to change its image from one of punitive law enforcer to a more friendly supporter, said Linda Jenkins, who supervises the program.
Young men enrolled in fatherhood programs, for example, can have their child support payments suspended until they find a job. The county agency also works with community-based programs to help young men gain custody and visitation rights.
‘Program Is Like Having a Free Lawyer’
Alvin Wesselhoft, 22, enrolled in the Role of Men program, said he is trying to be a good father to 4-month-old Maylasa Jones while the program is helping him to establish visitation rights with his 6-year-old son from a previous relationship, Alvin III, who was born the day before Wesselhoft turned 18.
He said the boy’s mother and new boyfriend moved out of the area without telling him and have restricted his access to his son.
“There was no one there to tell me you’re supposed to do this or that,” said Wesselhoft, cuddling little Maylasa. “But the program is like having a free lawyer.”
Wesselhoft said he is passing on to his 18-year-old brother the biggest lesson he’s learned--to postpone fatherhood until he’s more mature and settled in life.
Said Wesselhoft: “I tell him, ‘Don’t put yourself in my position.’ ”
‘It’s like having someone, a father figure, that’s never been there for me before.’
