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Cheering ‘Em on the Road to Perdition

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David Martin is an Ottawa attorney and contributor to "101 Damnations: The Humorists' Tour of Personal Hells" (St. Martin's Press, due in August).

Summertime is movie time as Hollywood releases another potential blockbuster each week. Here are sneak previews of some coming offerings:

“Notorious CEO”--He’s the coolest, baddest dude in the marketplace. He’s Notorious CEO, the head of ImPlode, one of America’s largest corporations. Even though ImPlode doesn’t actually make or sell anything, Notorious CEO and his bad-boy board of directors manage to hype the company’s share value to record highs. Will they cash in their options before the public catches on?

“Men in Black III”--This time, the guys in black are the aliens. Dressed in white collars, these strange creatures claim to be celibate, but not all of them are. Watch as the authorities try to track down the worst offenders, who always seem to be one parish ahead of the law.

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“Majority Report”--You’re an American politician faced with one corporate business scandal after another. What do you do? You sign on to the majority report recommending action, any action, against the corporate bad guys. Problem is, you may have received political donations from these bad guys or performed the same type of shady transaction yourself. See how Congress members, Cabinet members and presidents manage to talk the talk and avoid the walk.

“Martha and Snitch”--The latest animated film from Disney, this one follows the hilarious trials and tribulations of a stock-trading home-making guru named Martha. All is well in Martha’s world of home perfection until Snitch lets it be known that Martha may have had a little insider info before making her latest stock trade. Enjoy the fun as everybody jumps on the get-Martha bandwagon.

“The Importance of Appearing Earnest”--A modern twist on the Oscar Wilde classic, this film features a hilarious case of mistaken identity. George pretends to be earnest in his condemnation of corporate misdeeds and “mal-fee-ance.” But his evil twin, W., keeps popping up with candid admissions of shady loans and deals that embarrass poor George. Will George survive the November midterm elections unscathed, or will W. take him down like the Dow?

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