About Two Boys

Hugh Grant is being stared at. Paparazzi and fans he’s used to, but this is a bit different. It’s a sea lion perched on the edge of a water tank, its big brown eyes bulging beseechingly at Grant’s cool blue ones. Grant stares back a bit uncertainly, then turns and says, “Stark, raving mad. They’re probably insane, aren’t they?”

In fact, the sea lion is looking for a handout rather than a romantic lead (though it is a female), and Grant is not here, at the Central Park Zoo on a thundery Friday afternoon, to toss her a fish or flirt. He is with Nicholas Hoult, the 12-year-old co-star of his new film, “About a Boy,” which opens May 17. Together, they enact the live version of the chumminess they displayed on film together--the kind of casual camaraderie that’s hard to fake.

In the Universal Pictures film, directed by Chris and Paul Weitz (“American Pie”) from the Nick Hornby novel, Grant plays Will, a 38-year-old London slacker who lives off the royalties of his father’s Christmas jingle and steers clear of commitments of any kind. He has his gadgets, his routines and his excuses. He meets Marcus (Hoult) through Marcus’ flaky single mom (Toni Collette), and they begin to develop a relationship. Aside from the fact that Will hates kids, the joke is that Marcus is more mature than Will is, so Will teaches Marcus how to be a cool kid, and Marcus teaches Will how to be a caring, responsible adult.

This is not nearly as gooey as it sounds. Grant sees right through Will’s surface charm and wit, having played variations on him before, notably in his breakout movie, “Four Weddings and a Funeral.” At the same time, he also shares some of Will’s surface charm and wit, which, along with his floppy hair and busy personal life (that 13-year relationship with actress Elizabeth Hurley, that 1995 arrest for consorting with a prostitute) has obscured the fact that he’s a serious, driven actor.

Grant is nobody’s idea of a dad, no more than Will is. His stock in trade is irony and self-deprecation, not exactly kid-friendly qualities. But as he and Hoult wander through the zoo (along with a helpful zoo employee who guides them), it’s clear that he connects with the boy on several levels: as a sports enthusiast, a know-it-all, a wise guy and a dark humorist. Their conversation floats along on a tide of sarcasm and non sequiturs, just a couple of guys hangin’ out at the zoo, making fun of the animals--and each other.

As they get together for photographs by the sea lion tank, Grant shows Hoult, a sweet, un-actory kid who has appeared on British TV, how to square up to an imaginary golf ball. Then, seeing a little girl walk up to the begging sea lions, he says, “Throw that toddler in,” causing Hoult to giggle. Grant really is a very naughty boy.

Question: (following a garden path, midtown Manhattan looming nearby): So you’re showing him how to play golf?

Grant: Yes, we’re working on his swing. He’s made depressingly little progress over the last few months.

Hoult: I have. It just doesn’t show in my swing. It shows in where the ball goes.

Grant: Our match will be the evidence of that.

Q: Have you played together?

Grant: No, we’re going to. I told him he had to play better. Otherwise it would be boring.

Q: Is this the first time you’ve seen each other since the shoot ended?

Grant: We saw each other last weekend.

Hoult: And for photos and all that.

Q: You said you hung on his coattails at the premiere in London because you were nervous about it.

Hoult: Yeah, just a bit.

Grant: It’s quite a scene, British premieres. It’s not like the ones here. Huge crowds, like something from the 1950s. A lot of photographers, a lot of screaming people. It’s very odd. Normally reserved people turn into “The Day of the Locust.”

Q: Did you hit it off immediately?

Hoult: I think he was intimidated by me.

Grant (laughing): We were pretty friendly from the get-go.

Q: Your relationship on screen is uncertain for a while, though I guess you’re not shooting in order.

Grant: That’s true. But you know what it’s like on a film set. I’m quite intense on a film set. Surprisingly neurotic. Concentrated.

Q: Paul [Weitz] said his job was to get you to lighten up.

Grant: Yes, that’s everyone’s job in life for me.

Q: Did you show him [Hoult] the ropes, acting-wise?

Grant: No, he knew exactly what he was up to. I didn’t have to do any business like that.

Q: This must be the polar bear exhibit. [It’s under repair, inhabited by workmen instead of bears.]

Grant: Fantastic if they’d left one in there by mistake and he came out and devoured all four of those men. That would be a spectacle. That, I would pay to see. [To a zoo employee:] We don’t find any animals in your zoo. I don’t think there are any.

Zoo employee: There are otters over there, and red pandas.

Grant: We’re losing faith in the Manhattan zoo.

Hoult: Strange, I was driving around and I said, “Where’s Manhattan?” And we’re here.

Grant: That was a really stupid thing to say.

Zoo employee (pointing to more animals): Otters.

Hoult: They reek.

Grant: They are semi-vermin. They look a bit rat-like to me. Members of the weasel family.

Hoult: There’s this humongous rat in our garden that my dog killed.

Grant: Have you had any fatalities amongst your visitors here?

Zoo employee: No.

Grant: No one’s been devoured?

Zoo employee: No.

Hoult: That happened in London. A couple of people went into the lion pen.

Grant: The zoo in London, people get killed every week. A keeper or something.

Zoo employee (arriving at another exhibit): Breezy is a very old sea lion. She’s in her 30s. They only live to be in their mid-20s.

Grant: I think it’s rather cynical of you to keep a dead sea lion.

Zoo employee: She’s very responsive. She’s also blind.

Grant: That’s tragic. Why don’t you put her down?

Zoo employee: Because she’s very happy. She likes to swim. She goes out on her rock. She’s resting.

Grant: Poor Breezy. She looks quite comfortable. I would like to go lie on her. Very nice. Next animal, please.

Hoult (at another exhibit): Penguins!

Grant: How sweet. They look like they’re posing. I like the way you’ve mixed live ones with a stuffed one. Those two over there are clearly stuffed. Do they have any fishing for them to do here? Do you make it fun for them?

Zoo employee: We’re bringing in live trout.

Grant: That’s cool. Give them some live trout. How big is an emperor penguin? I read a whole book about finding the emperor penguin’s egg.

Zoo employee: Four to five feet tall.

Grant: Like a child. About your height.

Hoult: I’m not that small. [He’s 5 feet, 4 inches.]

Grant: As big as he was when he did the movie. How much have you grown since the film?

Hoult: Two inches.

Grant: Nah. It’s more like a foot. [He switches topics.] I did a TV thing about the Antarctic expedition in 1912 [1985’s “The Last Place on Earth”]. We actually shot it in the Arctic up in Baffin Island.

Q: What a cool aspect of your job, to be able to do things like that. Have you done other stuff like that?

Grant: You know me, romantic comedy doesn’t take you to very exotic locations. In the old days, it was more fun. I got to drive dog sleds and all kinds of things. I know how to command huskies. You know, there are no reins or anything. You’ve just got to shout at them in Inuit. “Ahee” means left; “heeha” means right. I never quite mastered it.

Zoo employee (moving on): Puffins.

Grant: I feel a bit sorry for the puffins. They’re just not as interesting as the penguins. [Pointing to the puffins:] Hideous too. Someone in Hollywood has hair like that. Horrible. [Outside now, hot, humid, thunder, lightning, but no rain.] It would really make your story if one of us were killed by lightning.

Q: It would. It’s supposed to be a nice weekend, except you’ll be inside [doing interviews].

Grant: I have a fantastic golf course in my hotel room. I have an excellent little golf hole. It’s like this electronic thing on a mat with a hole drawn on it. When the ball goes over the hole, it makes the gurgling sound of a hole swallowing a ball. Glug, glug, glug, nice putt. I’m obsessed with it.

Q: Did you bring that putting device with you?

Grant: I was given it at the start of shooting [a movie he’s currently filming in New York] to keep me quiet.

Zoo employee (inside steamy greenhouse): This is the rain forest.

Hoult: Where are the animals? There’s got to be a crocodile. I love that program [“The Crocodile Hunter”], but he’s a nut case, the Australian guy [Steve Irwin], and he runs up to them and goes, “This is a real big one.”

Grant: He’s always sort of hanging out with dangerous animals. “Look at that beauty. God, he’s biting my arm, get off!”

Grant (stopping in front of a glass case): Oh, tree boa. Look at that. Let’s see if we can make it attack. [Raps on the glass.] Open your fangs, tree boa. Do you think that’s one or two snakes?

Zoo employee: I think there are two in there.

Grant: It’s like trying to sort out your telephone cables.

Hoult: Do you feed them live stuff, like mice?

Zoo employee: At times. Crickets. Some of the snakes get mice.

Grant: Is that one about to strike or we could stay here all night and it wouldn’t move?

Hoult (outside again, the heavens about to open up): I was hoping they’d have a crocodile, but they don’t.

Grant: Thanks for the trip.

Q: It was different, anyway.

Grant: It was. And we’ve learned so much.

*

John Clark is a regular contributor to Calendar.