He’s Mad, but Ticket Brokers Are Glad

Ron Cook in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: “Have you noticed what’s happening to Mike Tyson these days? We can’t keep our eyes off him--again.

“Shame on us, maybe, but hats off to Tyson’s brilliant, if demented mind. There never has been anyone like him when it comes to capitalizing on our fascination with the bizarre.

“Dennis Rodman comes to mind, but he wasn’t in the same league, all due respect to cross-dressers, tattooers, body-piercers and, of course, Carmen Electra.”

Trivia time: Who holds the record for most points by a rookie in an NBA playoff game?

Great expectations: Jay Mariotti of the Chicago Sun-Times writes that Mark Prior, the former USC pitcher now with the Cubs, “is a savior with a resin bag,” adding: “So immersed is Chicago in his arrival, the real Anna Kournikova could do a strip tease on Oak Street Beach and no one would notice. The city clearly has its Prior-ities, as askew as they are.”

Prior was impressive in his debut Wednesday, striking out 10 in six innings against Pittsburgh and getting the win in a 7-4 victory.

Back to earth: Joe Paterno, Penn State football coach, when asked how he rates himself among the greatest coaches of all time: “I looked in the mirror one day and I said to my wife, ‘How many great coaches do you think there are?’ She said, ‘One less than you think.’”

Ego war: Jerry Greene in the Orlando Sentinel: “Did you see the lineup for HBO’s ‘Inside the NFL?’ You’ve got Bob Costas, Cris Collinsworth, Dan Marino and now Cris Carter.

“With this many egos on the same set, there may be more carnage than on ‘The Sopranos.’”

More Greene: “Athletic Director Skip Bertman says he wants to stop drunks from attending [Louisiana State] home football games. Well, there goes that program.”

Failure route? Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Even if Chinese center Yao Ming is not the top pick in the NBA draft, he should know that being the No. 2 pick in any pro draft is a sure-fire path to riches and glory.

“Why, look what it did for Ryan Leaf.”

Vicious: Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post: “Have you checked out John Rocker’s [earned-run average] lately? If it were anyone else, you’d say he was getting his brains beat in.”

Looking back: On this day in 1936, Tony Lazzeri hit three home runs, including a single-game record two grand slams, and drove in an American League-record 11 runs in the New York Yankees’ 25-2 rout of the Philadelphia Athletics.

Trivia answer: Wilt Chamberlain of Philadelphia, 53, against Syracuse on March 14, 1960.

And finally: Former Denver Bronco lineman Mark Schlereth says he holds the record for career surgeries, a mind-boggling 28, and the Denver Post notes that he has kept all the odd parts. Schlereth figures he could become a cottage industry.

“I have the first piece of cartilage ever taken out of my knee,” Schlereth said. “I’ve got bone chips, cartilage, all kinds of stuff. I’ve got at least 100 grand worth of junk lying around the house. Heck, I’ll cut a finger off for 50 grand. I’ll do it in the garage, man. Talk about your quality collectibles.”