Turning their (hearing aid) knobs up to 11

Halloween is meant to be spent with the undead, so what better place to be than the Rolling Stones show at Staples Center?

Inside the arena, there were zombies, ghouls and half-rotted corpses. But enough about Keith Richards. Some folks in the audience looked a little creaky too.

(OK, maybe one more thing about Richards. Every time the Stones announce another tour, late-night comics have a field day riffing on the band’s age. In 1997, David Letterman’s writers devised a top 10 list of rejected tour names, including “Rolling Stones Live Plus Keith Richards” and “Come see what Hanson will look like in the year 2097.” More recently, Jay Leno played mock concert footage in which fans, instead of throwing lingerie at Richards, tossed Depends.)

But on Thursday, age was no deterrent to the band’s loyal followers, some of whom began attending Stones concerts in the 1960s.

Dave Myers, a scraggly bearded 52-year-old from Camarillo who saw his first show in 1964, said wild horses couldn’t drag him away from this one. “If I had to come in on a stretcher or a wheelchair, I would,” he said.

Of course, prices are steeper now, proving the old adage that you can’t always get what you want, but if you pay a scalper $365, you get what you need.

A few fans came with mixed emotions. Retired car dealer Don Kott, 71, who originally saw the band in 1972 and fell asleep midway through the show (he was overwhelmed by the volume and the “funny smoke” in the stands), decided to try again, but only because his wife is a huge fan. “I figured if I brought earplugs and took a couple of Advils before the show, I’d survive,” he said.

Bob Lewis, 74, who also saw the Stones only one other time, decided to catch this gig because he wasn’t sure whether the band would ever tour again. This could be the last time, this could be the last time, maybe the last time, he don’t know.

Lewis, who said he booked the Stones’ first U.S. appearance in the early 1960s at the Swing Auditorium in San Bernardino, never dreamed back then that the group would still be playing four decades later. “My business partner and I were doing sporting events at the time,” he recalled. “My partner said rock ‘n’ roll would last one year. The first show we did was Creedence Clearwater Revival. When I saw them perform, I told him, ‘They’re good.’ So he said, ‘OK, maybe they’ll be around two years.’ ”

For longtime fans, the lyrics don’t necessarily carry the same meaning they did several decades ago.

Tom Ketcher, 50, said his favorite “mother’s little helper” in the 1960s was LSD. And now? “Iced tea,” he confessed. “I quit drinking about five years ago. That had to become part of the past.”

Another 50-ish gent who identified himself only as “the commissioner” said: “The lyrics are the same, but you can interpret them any way you want. There will always be a honky-tonk woman.”

Some wags have suggested that the Stones revamp their hits to be more in tune with aging baby-boomers. A few years ago, Chris Willman of Entertainment Weekly came up with a set list that included “Angie-oplasty,” “It’s Only Geritol (But I Like It),” “Harlem Shuffleboard,” “(I Can’t Get No) Wheelchair Traction,” “Sympathy for Wilford Brimley,” “Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo (Pacemaker)” and “Dye It Black” (sample lyric: “I see a gray hair and I want to dye it black”).

Not everyone was a Stones veteran. Christina Moore, 15, of Los Angeles said the band appeals to all generations. “They’re timeless,” she said.

Well, maybe. Although Mick Jagger, 59, looked pretty spry, strutting around the stage like a chicken on amphetamines, time isn’t necessarily on his side. There was something vaguely suspicious about his hair, which remained mysteriously sweat-free despite two hours of virtually nonstop gyrating and prancing. Guitarist Ron Wood’s mane also appeared unusually dry.

Could the Stones be wearing toupees?

What a drag it is getting old.