PLAY BY PLAY

FIRST INNING

ANGELS: Angels 0, Twins 0--David Eckstein grounded to the pitcher. Darin Erstad singled to left. Tim Salmon grounded into a 6-4-3 double play. No runs, one hit, none left.

TWINS: Angels 0, Twins 0--Bud Selig is in the Metrodome. He has decided that if the score is deadlocked after this inning, they will stop the game and declare it a tie. Jacque Jones popped to short. Cristian Guzman grounded to first. Corey Koskie singled to right. David Ortiz, professional hitter, swung at a 3-and-0 pitch and flied to left. No runs, one hit, one left.

SECOND INNING

ANGELS: Angels 0, Twins 0--Garret Anderson grounded to short. Troy Glaus struck out. It appears that plate umpire Ed Montague has a different strike zone than the one the rest of the world uses. Brad Fullmer flied to center. No runs, no hits.

TWINS: Twins 1, Angels 0--Torii Hunter hit a ball off the Hefty bag in right for a double. Doug Mientkiewicz batting. Hunter took third on a wild pitch. Mientkiewicz popped to third. Michael Cuddyer walked on four pitches. A.J. Pierzynski flied to center, Hunter scoring. It’s too bad Fox analyst Steve “Psycho” Lyons’ nickname isn’t “The Quiet Man.” He makes Rex Hudler seem introverted. Luis Rivas struck out. One run, one hit, one left.

THIRD INNING

ANGELS: Angels 1, Twins 1--Scott Spiezio popped to the catcher. Bengie Molina flied to right. Adam Kennedy singled to left. David Eckstein singled to right, Kennedy to second. Eckstein is standing on the bag at first and he is still dwarfed by Mientkiewicz. Next season, Eckstein is going to wear Eddie Gaedel’s old number. Erstad grounded to short, but the ball went off Guzman’s glove, between his legs and into left, Kennedy scoring, Eckstein to third. Looks like Game 4 against the Yankees. Wonder if Alfonso Soriano gave Guzman some fielding tips before the game. Salmon flied to right. One run, two hits, one error, two left.

TWINS: Angels 1, Twins 1--Jones flied to right. Guzman grounded to short. Koskie flied to right. No runs, no hits.

FOURTH INNING

ANGELS: Angels 1, Twins 1--Anderson flied to left. Glaus bounced to third. Fox reminds us to vote for the most memorable moment in baseball history. My most memorable moment will be when they stop interrupting the game by asking us to vote. Fullmer singled to second. Spiezio grounded to first. No runs, no hits, one left.

TWINS: Angels 1, Twins 1--Ortiz singled to right. Hunter sacrificed. Mientkiewicz walked. In Scrabble, Mientkiewicz could be worth 122 points if you play your tiles right. Cuddyer flied to right. Pierzynski popped to third. No runs, one hit, two left.

FIFTH INNING

ANGELS: Angels 1, Twins 1--Molina grounded to third. Kennedy flied to left. Eckstein grounded to short. Joe Mays looks like Walter Johnson out there. How was he only 4-8? No runs, no hits.

TWINS: Twins 2, Angels 1--Rivas, who walks about as often as Professor X, drew a base on balls. Jones flied to left. Guzman lined a single just over Eckstein’s glove, Rivas to second. Koskie doubled down the right-field line, Rivas scoring, Guzman stopping at third. Ortiz popped to first. Hunter struck out. One run, two hits, two left.

SIXTH INNING

ANGELS: Twins 2, Angels 1--Erstad popped to first. Salmon struck out. Anderson hit a grounder between first and second and was thrown out on a nice play by Rivas. No runs, no hits.

TWINS: Twins 2, Angels 1--Brendan Donnelly pitching. Mientkiewicz flied to left. Cuddyer flied to center. Pierzynski struck out swinging. No runs, no hits.

SEVENTH INNING

ANGELS: Twins 2, Angels 1--Glaus flied to left. The game has been so boring that even the normally raucous Metrodome crowd is quiet. Fullmer grounded to second. Spiezio grounded to third. Time for a nap. No runs, no hits.

TWINS: Twins 2, Angels 1--Rivas grounded to third. Jones struck out swinging. Guzman was hit by a pitch. Scott Schoeneweis pitching. Koskie flied to right. No runs, no hits, one left.

EIGHTH INNING

ANGELS: Twins 2, Angels 1--Orlando Palmeiro, batting for Molina, struck out swinging. Kennedy grounded to short. The game was delayed while someone from the stands ran on the field. It’s Enrico Palazzo! Eckstein grounded to short. Who are these guys, and what have they done with the Angels? No runs, no hits.

TWINS: Twins 2, Angels 1--Jose Molina catching. Bobby Kielty, batting for Ortiz, flied to right. Ben Weber pitching. Hunter struck out swinging. Mientkiewicz struck out swinging. No runs, no hits.

NINTH INNING

ANGELS: Twins 2, Angels 1--Eddie “Latino Heat” Guardado pitching. Erstad struck out swinging. Salmon walked. Why do Twins’ fans wave the Homer Hankie when the Angels are up? Do they want the Angels to hit a homer? Chone Figgins ran for Salmon. Anderson flied to right. Wouldn’t that make the Angels hit a homer? Glaus took a called strike three on a curveball right down the middle. Swing the bat! No runs, no hits, one left.