Now Starring on Fox: The Giants’ Brat Pack

The World Series came down to this Saturday: Angel fans relying on the rally monkey -- Anaheim falling behind as planned, of course, or he’s not needed -- and Giant fans figuring their team was a cinch to win with the Rally Brat and His Day-Care Friends in the dugout.

It doesn’t get any more exciting than this, unless Fox could have wangled a way to lock a live monkey in a phone booth with the Giant manager’s unruly kid, put a camera on them and let’s see who tears whom apart. Maybe call it “Survivor.” I have a hunch that kind of TV show might draw an audience.

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FOX, OF course, is at its best when it gets one of these compelling silly story lines it can beat into the ground, because the game of baseball isn’t enough to keep everyone’s attention. Last week we learned about monkey etiquette; tonight we began with a picture to grip the heart of parents/viewers everywhere.

Well, we got 22 overkill shots to be exact of 3-year-old Darren Baker, the little rug rat who was almost trampled to death the other night while trying to retrieve a bat with a bunch of Giants circling the bases. That’s 22 shots Saturday night before getting our first look at Barry Bonds.

Fox opened its pregame show calling the Giant manager’s son the “lucky charm,” noting the Giants are 8-0 in postseason play with the Rally Brat in the dugout, and if I’m Giant pinch-hitter Ramon Martinez, I’m worried the little twerp might get voted a full Series share before me.

Two out in the top of the first, and we had seen the Rally Brat 25 times, which meant the rally monkey had a lot of catching up to do.

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DOWN ON the field during warm-ups, diehard Giant fan Robin Williams was joking with Bobby Bonds, Barry’s father, and the subject of his comedy routine was the Rally Brat, and what would have happened had he been run over instead of saved by J.T. Snow?

“What was that, a child? Better take that kid off my cleats,” Williams said, while acting like a baseball player trying to knock dirt off his spikes with a bat.

I had a feeling Fox would not ask Williams to do his routine on camera.

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FOX, KNOWN for its hard-nosed reporting, told us the Giants had a batboy coach currently charged with the duty of letting the Rally Brat know the proper time to run on the field. Ramon Martinez now was in danger of being overlooked by both a 3-year-old and the kid’s baby-sitter.

I don’t know why they just couldn’t have used one of those leashes on the twerp like parents use when dragging a kid through the mall.

But you can imagine the great picture that would make, and as Dusty Baker told us in Saturday’s Times, “[Darren] told me he’s tired of being in the paper himself.” And some people are worried newspapers don’t attract young readers.

Now in the interest of fair play, Fox did a pregame feature on the rally monkey, perched on the rocks in center field and jumping up and down with a guitar in his hand before taking the instrument and smashing it over the rocks -- oh, I’m sorry, I’m told that was Scott Spiezio -- I guess I was a little too far from the TV to really tell the difference.

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THE GAME dragged in the early innings, and Fox showed a commercial for one of its TV shows, “Bernie Mac,” with Bernie meeting a woman holding a baby in her arms. I think it was the Rally Brat. If not, a week from now it will be.

In the fifth inning Shawon Dunston homered for the Giants, and now the Rally Brat had company, with 10-year-old Shawon Dunston Jr. threatening to become Fox’s new little darling. Dunston’s father kissed his kid when he arrived at home plate, and by the end of the inning we had seen the Rally Brat 29 times on the night and Dunston’s kid eight times, but closing fast.

The Angels tried countering with their own youngster, Francisco Rodriguez, but he’s grown up a lot in the last few weeks, and just isn’t as cute anymore.

In the sixth it appeared that it was going to be children’s day at the zoo with Bonds homering, kissing his kid at home plate and then Fox giving us three shots of Bonds’ daughter in the stands.

I turned to senior assistant sports editor Randy Harvey, and I could tell by the look in his eyes he thought I was going to try and kiss him too.

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NOW THE Angel players have never really taken to the rally monkey, and to be honest actually hate him because he gets more credit than they do, and is certainly more adorable than any one of them. I can only imagine how much it must gall them to have to take home a stuffed monkey to appease their own kids.

Without the monkey, though, the Angels don’t win.

In fact, the rally monkey became a little impatient with the inept Angels, showing up in the sixth inning and not getting much done. The Giants had a 5-0 advantage, but with Fox going to the monkey-cam and finding fans who believe in the power of the critter, the game changed.

In the seventh the rally monkey hit a three-run homer ... I’m sorry, that was Spiezio, but I know what it made the score: Rally Brat 32, Dunston’s kid 14, Bonds’ son 5, Bonds’ daughter 3, rally monkey 13, Jackie Autry holding the rally monkey 2, the Giants 5, and the Angels 3.

The game turned permanently in favor of the Angels in the eighth, and we were no longer getting pictures of the Giants’ day-care program, leaving a national TV audience to wonder just how the Rally Brat took it after the rally monkey kicked his butt.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.