LAUGH LINES

Very Friendly Skies: “Virgin Airways announced [recently that it has] eliminated the baby-changing tables in the lavatories. They were being used by passengers to have sex during flights. If this is a problem on Virgin, you can imagine what it’s like on United.” (Argus Hamilton)

In the Air: “Singapore Airlines now features seats that fold out to become beds. You can actually lie down and sleep on the flight. That’s an improvement. Now when the flight attendant rolls the beverage carts down the aisle, instead of just smashing a knee, they’ll split your head open.” (Jay Leno)

On the Edge: “Scientists say that the coast of California is eroding at two inches per year. They noticed when the last guy in line at Disneyland fell into the ocean.” (Craig Kilborn)