Heists and whodunits from the world of art

Some crimes are so perfect, they’re almost works of art.

Take the 1994 theft of Edvard Munch’s painting “The Scream” from Norway’s National Gallery. It took two brazen thieves less than a minute to spirit away the $70-million work using only a ladder and a hammer. (They left a postcard at the scene saying, “Thanks for the bad security.”)

Such details make art heists come alive in Bravo’s new six-part series, “Art Crimes and Mysteries,” premiering tonight at 10 and running each weeknight through April 14. Tonight’s episode covers the Munch theft and efforts by Norway to track down and retrieve the work. The Norwegians finally turned to Scotland Yard for help, which managed to crack the case despite incessant bungling by Norwegian police. From the looks of it here, Inspector Clouseau should have been Norwegian.

Part art history lesson, the show explains that “The Scream,” considered the finest example of Expressionism, is particularly delicate because it was done with chalk on cardboard, not oil on canvas.

With the painting’s fragility in mind, the viewer begins to share in the sense of urgency that the work be retrieved before it is damaged. Like any good mystery, the show keeps the viewer on the edge of his seat as it tells the tale through reenactments and interviews with key players.

The story twists and turns as the Norwegians follow false lead after false lead until Sherlock Holmes (well, a really good Scotland Yard detective) appears on the scene. Even then, retrieving the art from the thugs who stole it is no paint-by-numbers.

Other episodes cover such relatively recent crimes as smuggled papyri from ancient Egypt’s City of the Dead, master art forger John Myatt, how a Japanese wrestler ended up with a stolen medieval masterpiece, the theft of a famous Rubens from a Spanish museum and the disappearance of a million-dollar Tiffany window from a New York cemetery.

Thomas Crowne’s got nothing on these guys.