Now More Than Ever, Our Kids Need a Guiding Hand

Do you ever have nightmares about bad things happening to children?

That bracing question last month from a fourth-grader at Richard Henry Dana Elementary School led me to consider the burdens that many children now must be carrying around with them: images of terrorist attacks, shootings, child abductions and now war. Our children probably have a greater amount of stimuli to process and deal with than any previous generation as they try to figure out where they and their peers stand in the world.

At R.H. Dana, the 9-year-old youngster posed his stark query in a calm and unemotional manner that belied the profoundness of its content. I responded in a straightforward fashion that, yes, I did, from time to time, experience nightmares about bad things happening to children -- especially in the period following the shootings at schools in Colorado and San Diego -- and more recently after watching news reports about child abductions and terrorist events around the world. I said that I hoped he would not be frightened by this, because scientists tell us that dreams -- and even nightmares -- are normal experiences and often reflect unresolved issues deep in our subconscious.

I emphasized to him and his classmates that their safety and security while in school were my highest priority. I can only wish that the young questioner and his peers appreciated my directness and candor and, in some small way, were comforted as well.

On my way back to the office, I reflected further. I realized more keenly than before how important it is that all adults who interact with children -- parents and neighbors and teachers and clergymen -- appreciate clearly the latent insecurities and ambiguities that are no doubt in the minds of many children. Just last week, a high school senior asked me what the “Orange” alert designation (high risk of a terrorist attack) meant and what we would do in schools to deal with such conditions.

The images of the past month of war in Iraq have further increased the awareness of children about the terror and unrest that plague our world. While our military has fought for the possibility of future freedom for the Iraqi populace, the video portrayal on television may leave children largely with the sense of violent action and death that comes from war. Even as the war now, thankfully, appears to be winding down, the legacy of the dangers presented by war for children -- most forcefully through the stunning imagery on the screen -- will remain for us to consider.

I believe it is imperative that all adults deal candidly and forthrightly with our children in these unsettling times. We need to be honest with them always. Children know when adults are being evasive or are sugarcoating or concealing the facts. I believe we need to let them know when we are not aware of some things and how we are coping with the lack of information. At the same time, we must do everything possible, more than ever before, to make children feel secure and stable. Our children need to know that they are part of a larger community that cares about them, that will protect them and that will do everything possible to make decisions that will improve the world that they will someday inherit. It’s a duty that all of us share.

James A. Fleming is superintendent of Capistrano Unified School District.