Under the Frozen Tundra Is Unavailable

Fort Howard Memorial Park in Green Bay, Wis., is offering niches for cremated remains with hand-carved bronze fronts showing Lambeau Field, Packer players and fans wearing cheeseheads.

“Whenever I’m in Green Bay, all the people talk about is the Packers and football,” said Christine Hentges, vice president of Tribute Inc., which owns the cemetery. “Their lives revolve around it.”

Now, apparently, their deaths will, too.

The Packer wing of the cemetery’s mausoleum will be open in 2004, but you can grab your final resting place now ... if you want people wearing wedges of fake cheese dancing on your grave.

Trivia time: Lennox Lewis was awarded the World Boxing Council’s heavyweight title when Riddick Bowe surrendered it in 1992. Whom did Lewis beat in his first title defense?

Useful: Dean Juipe of the Las Vegas Sun obviously hasn’t forgiven Lamar Odom, who was long gone from Nevada Las Vegas when the NCAA handed down sanctions against the school after an investigation sparked by Odom’s ACT test score.

“Coddled as a prodigy, spoiled as a teen and now enriched as a young adult, he has no need for a rearview mirror,” Juipe wrote. “Odom, 24, wants to be done with the Clippers, wants to move on. He used them and now it’s time to use someone else. And there’s always someone else willing to be used.”

FYI: Tampa Bay Coach Jon Gruden told Playboy that lineman Kerry Jenkins is the Buccaneer player who is “scariest naked.”

Exclusive club: You think you have a tough time getting a starting time? Just be glad you’re not a Muscovite.

The European Golf Tour is stopping in Russia for the first time this week and there really wasn’t much competition among potential sites.

The Russian Open will be held at the Moscow Country Club in Nakhabino, just north of Moscow.

It’s the only 18-hole course in the country.

An estimated 3,000 Russians play golf and they’re not your average Josefs. It costs $2,800 a year to belong to the club and $75 a round.

Bad read, man: A book by New Orleans Hornet owner George Shinn about the acrimonious move of his NBA franchise from Charlotte has been canceled.

The 192-page book, to have been titled “Never Give Up,” was due out in October, but after Pelican Publishing editors -- who had already gone through two revisions -- asked for more rewriting, Shinn refused.

“The quality of the writing and his treatment of sensitive issues raised concerns,” said Stephanie Williams, senior publicist for Pelican.

An insensitive owner of a pro sports team? Really?

Trivia answer: Lewis beat Tony Tucker in a 12-round decision on May 8, 1993, to retain the title.

And finally: Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle: “The Portland Trail Blazers’ front office has produced a code of conduct for its players. Which is nice, but did you ever try to read one of those things when you’re stoned?”

-- John Weyler