There’s Help for Those in a Pickle Over What to Buy While Holiday Shopping

Folks are already under enough pressure to finish their holiday gift-buying.

Now, Tom Greene of L.A. notes that one company has started a campaign urging customers to “hurry” and get their Valentine’s Day (Feb. 14) shopping done early (see accompanying). Pretty nervy, especially since the advertised gifts don’t seem all that romantic.

Grizzly spelling problems: Class, here are today’s examples (see accompanying):

* A newspaper’s mention about “grabbing” a furry dining companion was spotted by Kurt and Phyllis Amboss of Pacific Palisades and Bill Hoppe of Malibu.

* And Marshall Drucker of Burbank read a notice from a new restaurant that picked a chilly time of the year to announce its relaxed dress code.

Speaking of dining (and spelling): Allen Wilkinson of Whittier noticed an ad for some food intended for the cook who searches for praise everywhere (see accompanying).

Stupid criminal tricks: I could have told the suspected bank robber beforehand: Always take off your mask when you return to the getaway car. He was arrested along with five colleagues in Cerritos after an off-duty sheriff’s sergeant observed the mask -- and smoke from an exploded dye pack that was filling the car. It had to be one of the strangest getaways since a gang member tried to outrun sheriff’s deputies in Paramount while dragging one leg. When he was caught, the officers discovered an assault rifle in his pants.

Not kids’ play: The police log of Laguna Beach’s Coastline Pilot said “a resident reported that loud explosions and screaming were coming from the high school at 9:53 a.m.”

An investigation determined that “a science teacher was on the football field conducting an experiment.” Sounds like a scene from “Flubber.”

Lecture circuit: I was speaking to a group of schoolkids the other day when a cell phone began ringing in the classroom. I tell you, few things are more irritating than that sound. Especially when you discover it’s coming from your own phone.

Later, after brutal questioning by one student, I admitted that I had been a journalist for 35 years. The student responded: “And you don’t work for the Internet yet?”

miscelLAny: Outspoken Keyshawn Johnson, the former USC pass receiving star, titled his autobiography “Just Give Me the Damn Ball!” His recent complaining, however, prompted his employers, the Tampa Bay Bucs, to suspend him for the rest of the year.

And prompted columnist Reggie Hayes of the Fort Wayne (Ind.) News-Sentinel to comment: “His stock has fallen so far, the latest printing of his book is called, ‘Can Somebody Give Me That Darn Ball, Pretty Please.’ ”

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.