‘Express’ still chugging along

Talk about the little engine that could.

“Starlight Express,” the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical that vaguely echoes the beloved children’s story, has never been a critical darling, particularly in the United States. But that hasn’t prevented it from chugging its way into theater history. It opened in London in 1984 and ran for nearly 18 years, becoming the second-longest-running musical in West End history. A Broadway production lasted a bit less than two years, but in the 1990s, the flashy show, with its roller-skating cast tricked out to look like a toy train set, found a fitting home in Las Vegas.

A new production is now on tour, featuring updated Lloyd Webber songs with new lyrics by “The Full Monty’s” David Yazbek and portions of action rendered in 3-D film. In most respects, though, nothing has changed. The sourpuss critic is going to complain that the show, which plays through Jan. 4 at the Orange County Performing Arts Center and Jan. 27-Feb. 8 at the Pantages in Hollywood, is tuneless and soulless, while much of the audience, like that at the Christmas night opening in Orange County, greets it with sustained applause and enthusiastic whistles.

“Starlight Express” is often referred to as “ ‘Cats’ on wheels.” Though meant half in jest, that’s accurate shorthand, since both Lloyd Webber shows are, essentially, a catalog of types, tied together by a quasi-religious quest for transcendence.

The action unfolds in the mind of a boy of about 9. We hear his disembodied voice as he imagines a competition among his toy trains. To lyrics by Richard Stilgoe, Lloyd Webber employs a grab bag of song styles to characterize the engines and the cars they hitch up with. (Yes, you can interpret this on a sexual level, but kids probably won’t catch on.)

The reigning champ, a diesel engine known as Greaseball (Drue Williams), preens, Elvis-like, through a Memphis rock-style number, for instance, while Dinah (Katie O’Toole), a dining car, pines for him in a country lament. Blues, gospel and the treacly pop of the title number are employed by a gray-haired former champion named Poppa (Dennis LeGree) to urge along the underdog hero, the outmoded steam train Rusty (Franklyn Warfield).

Designer John Napier (“Cats,” “Sunset Boulevard”) encases the roller-skating performers in body armor that looks like Roman soldier gear combined with the looks of “Star Wars” and those once-popular Transformers toys.

The original thrills of “Starlight Express” came from seeing the performers race into the audience on elevated ramps. This version, however, confines the skating to the stage, on the sort of U-shaped “half pipe” you might see in a skateboard park. The three big race sequences are now depicted in 3-D film, which the audience watches through glasses, referred to as “safety goggles,” provided at the door. The effect is cool, in a Disneyland way, as a dislodged sign seems to spin lethally at you or an unfortunate engine plunges into an abyss. But the film, directed by Napier’s son, Julian Napier, also deprives the show of some of its original zest.

The updated songs are even more disappointing. “Whole Lotta Locomotion,” sung by a quartet of female train cars eager to link up with an engine, resembles nothing so much as the dated Madonna hit “Vogue,” while “The Rap” is an embarrassing attempt at hip-hop, complete with street-dance moves.

The action, staged by original choreographer Arlene Phillips, zips along, and powerful singing is delivered by the rumbling LeGree as Poppa and the silky-voiced Clarissa Grace as Pearl, an observation car who can’t decide which engine is Mr. Right. Five musicians play the heavily synthesized accompaniment.

The ending is oddly anti-technology, and some plot elements probably shouldn’t be examined too closely (such as the electric train [Dustin Dubreuil] singing “AC/DC, it’s OK by me” and switching from a female to a male partner). Still, it would be sheerest arrogance to rail against this tale.

*

‘Starlight Express’

Where: Orange County Performing Arts Center, 600 Town Center Drive, Costa Mesa

When: Today and next Saturday, 2 and 8 p.m.; Sunday and Jan. 4, 2 and 7:30 p.m.; Tuesday-Friday, 8 p.m.

Ends: Jan. 4

Price: $23.25-$58.25

Contact: Ticketmaster, (213) 365-3500 or (714) 740-7878; information, (714) 566-ARTS

Running Time: 2 hours

Also: Jan. 27-Feb. 8 at the Pantages Theatre, 6233 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood. Tuesdays-Fridays, 8 p.m.; Saturdays, 2 and 8 p.m.; Sundays, 1 and 6:30 p.m. $25-$60. Ticketmaster, (213) 365-3500.

Drue Williams...Greaseball

Katie O’Toole...Dinah

Dennis LeGree...Poppa

Franklyn Warfield...Rusty

Dustin Dubreuil...Electra

Presented by Sierra-Flo Co. in association with Troika Entertainment. Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber, lyrics by Richard Stilgoe, additional lyrics by David Yazbek. Director Arlene Phillips. Musical director Michael Duff. Set and costumes John Napier. Film segments directed by Julian Napier.