In This Arena, Things Definitely Looking Down

It’s an ugly pit -- a place known best for housing losers -- dirty, grimy, depressing and at its lowest levels the seats are flaming red, the ceiling going on to disappear in blackness as if there is no escape, and there are USC fans everywhere.

The Trojan Dance Force is dressed in black slinky vinyl as if they’re trying to invite devilish thought, and for that matter put a pitchfork in the mascot’s hands -- don’t get nervous, Steve Lavin, I didn’t say anything about sticking a fork in someone -- and all this time I thought USC fans were being mean telling me where to go when all they wanted me to do was attend one of their games in the Sports Arena.

A court-length sign reading: “Home of the Trojans” hangs on the lower wall of the ugly pit, which is probably better than hoisting a sign that simply reads: “Hades.”

But I wonder, as I give thought to the Seven Deadly Sins, especially lust because the Dance Force is back on the floor, and the over-the-top pride these folks display, the greed, the BMWs they all drive, the envy they show for anyone who went to Notre Dame, the e-mail anger, that annoying song they play over and over again, and I can’t imagine down under being much worse.

Football Coach Pete Carroll takes a seat between turnovers, a roar goes up as though he can save everyone from this, and I know I’m rooting for him like never before.

The team that has lost eight games in a row has played dreadfully again, but it has one fewer turnover, 12-11, and two more points, 36-34, at halftime, which tells you a lot about the quality of play of the other team.

Carroll is now moving to center court, I imagine to do a soft-shoe routine and provide the entertainment. He walked on water during the football season, so why not, but then the Victory Bell is wheeled onto the court, and I can see where this is going.

Every time you hear a bell ring, an angel gets his wings, and when things have gone the other way, it’s all about redemption, and Errick Craven throwing in a three-pointer, and Desmon Farmer tossing in one and USC going ahead, 45-41. I give the credit to Carroll more than I do Henry Bibby.

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IT’S JUST not right sitting in such a hellhole in the middle of the entertainment capital. This place should have been torn down years ago, and if Carroll really wants to save the day, now would be a good time to hit up all those giddy boosters for whatever it takes to build a new basketball arena for these people.

Dates have been set in the past for groundbreaking, but now there’s not even talk about a new arena. One of the best years in USC basketball history a year ago should have fired up the faithful, but it seems to have done nothing.

More than half of the upper bowl in the Sports Arena remained empty Wednesday night for a game featuring two teams that show little chance of making it into the NCAA tournament of 65 teams. But you have to wonder what a new arena might mean for a program that wants to be better. I wouldn’t wish a place like this -- with bathrooms so disgusting it’s best to wait until you get home -- on my worst enemies. And you know who they are.

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I’D LIKE to go home, if you know what I mean, but I guess they’re going to insist one of these sub-par teams wins. It could be Lavin’s final victory, so I wouldn’t want to miss that. UCLA is winning by a point, UCLA fouls with 4.4 seconds to go, USC makes two free throws, UCLA loses. Oh, the excitement of stinky basketball, the USC faithful screaming in unison “UCLA sucks” when it’s all over. (Maybe this place is perfect for them after all).

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JUST ASKING: Has Coach Phil Jackson been playing Devean George in the fourth quarter because he’s counting on him down the stretch, or are the Lakers showcasing him to make a swap before the deadline?

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PREP FOOTBALL Report’s Tom Lemming evaluated the recruiting work of USC and told the Bloomberg News Service: “USC took advantage of UCLA’s coaching change and cleaned up in Southern California.” I would never have let Bob Toledo go.

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I DON’T understand why there is a minority coaching-interview brouhaha in Detroit. Gene Upshaw, the NFL players union director, is upset, saying, “the Detroit Lions gave mere lip service to the agreed-upon minority hiring process, treating it almost as if a nuisance to their hiring of Steve Mariucci.”

It was a nuisance. GM Matt Millen’s job as an NFL executive is on the line, and besides having an interest in hiring Mariucci for years, if Millen is to have the chance to be successful, shouldn’t he be allowed to sink or swim with his own choice?

Now understandably -- according to NFL reports -- Dennis Green and five other minority coaching candidates turned down the chance to interview for a job that was already earmarked for Mariucci. That put the Lions in a fix, of course, and invited the criticism from Upshaw, but Millen fired Marty Mornhinweg only when Mariucci became available. He never had the intention of opening the job up for anyone else.

If fairness is the issue in implementing the minority coaching interview policy, then fairness should also apply in those situations with unique circumstances.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from John Tintle:

“You wrote about the babe factor and Annika Sorenstam. Your mention of the PGA extending exemption invitations to Sorenstam made me wonder why the LPGA hasn’t invited any hunks to participate?

My phone is unlisted.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.