Champ or chump, a dog is a dog is a dog

I watched the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show with Jake.

We do this every year.

Jake is my dog.

For the most part, Jake doesn’t watch much TV. I think he feels it insults his intelligence.

Jake’s an Airedale. They’re like that.

Jake loves the Westminster dog show, however. It is the only thing guaranteed to get him in front of the tube.

Oh, that and the movie “Best in Show,” which he thinks is the funniest film ever.

I don’t want to give anyone the impression that Jake talks to me. He doesn’t. If he did, it would mean I was nuts.

No. Rather than words, Jake and I communicate through telepathy. You know, like aliens, or people who have been married a long time.

We have only two rules for watching the show together: no channel surfing and no licking.

Anyway, this was the 127th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, held recently at Madison Square Garden in New York. It had 2,603 entries, representing all 159 recognized breeds.

Westminster is kind of like the all-star game of dog shows. To get in, a dog had to have won enough titles to be considered a champion.

I had been led to believe by Jake that the “Ch.” in front of a dog’s name stood for chump. Turns out it means champion.

Jake, of course, is a huge terrier-group fan. The terrier group is a lot like the Yankees.

Going into the 2003 show, Westminster had awarded best-in-show 94 times, and the terrier group had claimed the title on 42 of those occasions.

This year, the terrier group was won by a Kerry blue named Ch. Torums Scarf Michael, who goes by the name Mick.

An Airedale finished second to Mick in the group competition. Jake thought the Airedale got hosed.

Next to Airedale terriers, Jake’s favorite dogs are huskies (he’s a huge University of Connecticut fan).

Jake is really fun to watch a dog show with. He has a comment on everything and everyone. Here are just a few:

Bulldogs: You can’t tell the back from the front without a map.

Saint Bernards: Friendly, but dumb as a fire hydrant.

Mastiffs: They can sleep anywhere they want.

Bichons frises: Dust mops with legs.

I’m telling you, you may think you have seen a dog laugh, but it can’t compare to Jake when he watches the nonsporting group competition.

This is because the nonsporting group includes poodles, and to Jake, there is nothing more hilarious than a puffed-up poodle with a bare behind.

People who don’t know Jake assume he gets a little jealous watching Westminster, but he actually has it in perspective.

Jake’s take on all the pampered, fancy-schmancy, high-falutin’ dogs comes down to this: Given the opportunity, there’s not one of them who wouldn’t drink out of the toilet.

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Jim Shea is a columnist for the Hartford Courant, a Tribune Co. newspaper.